so maybe this clearing away of stuff does have a literal payoff...i opened a 48 gal plastic tub that I keep my vendor stuff in, figuring I'd weed through it before i stored it in the attic. there was this curious looking envelope that i almost tossed, but opened instead - it was addressed to me - in my own handwriting...???? AND it had $140 in it. hunh? wha? it sure isn't like me to forget about something like this. I mean, I remember that Sam Larned owes me $5 for some pot back in 11th grade.
so there is a payoff in many ways here. after a slow slow start, with waves of feeling overwhelmed holding me back, i got started on the dig again and WHOO HOO! ok, enough frivolity - back to it.