today is a "despiteful" day... despite wanting to crawl back into bed & pull the covers over my head, i got up. Despite looking at my studio dig out project and being overwhelmed and walking out the door, I dug in (and it was easier & more fun than I thought it would be!). despite wanting to nap away the afternoon and evening, i took diva for a pedi and got ready for zumba (despite wanting to skip it). despite feeling teary-eyed and sad all day, i pushed a grin on my face, and dang if i didn't start to feel better (enough to count!).
I am so intensely looking forward to a movie date with my brother tomorrow afternoon...just us! we live in the same town(ish) but never get to see each other, and i miss him.
I'm not sure why I feel so discombobulated and tired the past 2 days. but it has been a struggle through the pea soup, trying to keep my footing so as not to fall into the abyss of icky stuff. and missing the smell of this is certainly not helping. i tear up every time i look. but, i won't be there this year for reasons that just won't be discussed. My future exhusband will just have to get along without me. :)
but ohhhhh, i can just feel myself on the dock, toes dipping into the water, quiet quiet, my tribe and more. ok, i have to stop thinking about it now.
diva is needing some attention, after her tormentation - a pedicure. oy vey. she jumped out of the car and hurled. i mean, it wasn't that bad an ordeal, eh? the drama.