a full time artist, stepmother, former radio personality, customer service goddess, and mom to an American Eskimo dog tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life. _Brian Andreas, StoryPeople
it finally happened...i joined a gym. yep. my intention last MARCH had been to join the zumba group that uses the space where i worked (after we closed, of course). but not so much. and just saying "i went to zumba" felt so 50's suburban mom-ish, like zumba is the new mah johng. so after a dinner of tri-colored tortilla chips and iced tea, i realized this madness must stop, and i hauled my ever-expanding pooter down the street to the fitness center (my correction - it is not a gym). They have yoga and PiYo and machines to Pump You Up and it seemed like a fun family place - no pretty boys roided up to the hair follicles expelling overly loud groans and attempting to lift the building's weight in steel. mostly people like me, and they seemed friendly yet intent. but it was hot in there. real hot. i was sweating while i filled out the paperwork. it was explained to me that "the AC must be broken and they were fixing it." so you're not sure if it's broken, but you are sure they are fixing it?? i know how these things go, so yes, that was me who wrote "contract null & void and full refund will be issued immediately if AC not fixed prior to 7/12/12. Refund to be issued on 7/12/12" and made them sign it. they thought i was kidding. at first. i'm as serious about my money as they are about working out, and there is no way i would go work out in a rain forest of humidity, and i tell you - there were clouds forming in the treadmill section. and fitness centers are notoriously cranky about issuing refunds of any sort. besides, consumer protection law gives me 3 days to change my mind, so it was a warning shot to them that, yes, i am expecting big things from y'all. like AC. and clean machines that aren't slick with the last person's sweat and who-knows-what that creepy crawled out their pores. people, come on. yes, i have a germ thing, but would you want to roll around in a stranger's sweat?? and there it is, item #4 on the rule sheet - "thou shalt carry thy towel with them at all times." or similar. not an exact quote there. now, i may be one of those people who has all intention of going every day, every other day, whatever, and end up just hanging my clothes on the membership (like all the fitness equipment that's come and gone from this house) but for 2 weeks, i will be that person. and if it kicks starts my metabolism, so much the better. but i may be the person who decides moderation will win the day. or i may just pop something in my head and expire on the ab flexer (which beats dying in Kmart or Golden Corral). so this fitness center is open 4am-midnight, so nary a chance of missing their open hours..."darn it! i keep missing you by 5 minutes!" not so much. so i woke up this morning at 5:45-ish, ate breakfast, fed the animals, and here i am with coffee and you. i plan to take a yoga class at 10:30 this morning, and then treadmill for an undetermined amount of time. just walk on the treadmill. because it will be too damn hot to walk outside today, and it better be snowing-on-my-hair cold in the fitness center today. i started a painting yesterday that is at a point where it is trying to kill me, so the treadmill should give me some zone-out time to plot against it. art is a conversation - and sometimes the artist needs to converse with the medium in rather loud and harsh tones to get it to realize who's the boss of the brushes. but in the end, you know, the paint always wins, so maybe i'll plot against something else instead. organize a coup or something. against who/what to be determined. maybe just sell my method on dvd. okay - off to sweat. say a prayer.