a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.

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Thursday, October 06, 2011

ok a bonus round!

yes...it's true. 2 posts today. amazing what 12 hours sleep will do for a person, eh? and not to worry - i've made Big Headway on the cleanup/organizational project in the studio, and have gathered all my notes and boxes and Things from pretty much all over the house, and they will soon have their own cozy homes in my OFFICE! yes...office. some observations: people do not need one more Thing in their lives. Most are past the mindset that a nice new shiny (fill in the blank) will feed their soul, make them thinner or taller or blonder or richer or whatever hole needs filling in their lives. we are in a time of people wanting to do good things. that may still mean buying a shiny new pair of shoes for some, but buying responsibly. and my take on the economy is this (and i might preface this by saying i have no training in economics and rarely even balance my checkbook)...there are fewer goods moving off the shelves, because there is a realization that More won't help. yes - there is less money to go around the table for many/most. i get that, and i live that. however, i find myself wanting to spend any so-called disposable cash (disposable? i'll empty your trash any day) with a person/company that also is doing some good somewhere, be it down the street, across the world, or even just in their home. i want a 2-fer. i want a nice Bolga Basket, and am willing to spend $35 for the real deal, and know i am helping an actual village of women in Africa. I will do that rather than buy the $10 knockoff that is mass-produced somewhere else in the world that will only profit a big corporation. yes - i get it - those big business employ & pay wages & pay taxes in a larger scope than a small group of African women making baskets all day. and yes, those companies are located down the street from me and employ my neighbors. yes yes yes. all of that is true. however, i really see a trend toward small business buying. and here's the thing: you cannot fake sincerity. it will catch up with you sooner or later. you cannot talk the talk about all things wonderful & bright & sparkly & the Universe having wings and all that, WITHOUT walking the walk. sooner or later, someone will see the man behind the curtain, so to speak. and that authenticy, or rather the lack thereof, will shine out like a beacon and you will be exposed. it isn't wrong or evil to be a small businessperson and make a lot of money and keep it all for yourself. (although most small businesspeople tend to lend a hand in their community quite a bit). what i feel is absolutely wrong is to pretend you are one thing to "lure them in," when really, you are not that person. again: neither is wrong. just toying with people is wrong. Recently, I've had the opportunity to experience 2 different groups of women, each 150 strong, each creative entrepreneurial types. each group met in similar surroundings. each had the same range of ages. one group was in it to get. the other was in it to give and receive. i left one group feeling positive, uplifted, certain of my place in the world and truly supported by 150 pair of hands. i left the other feeling exhausted, and sad that they were so focused on what they could get from you and the bottom line, that they missed the opportunity to connect on any important level...and that level would have translated into sales. i won't do business with anyone i don't have a good vibe about. i won't do business with someone who doesn't share my core values, even if their expression of it is completely different than mine. it's about putting your yoga where your mouth is. i'm not mentioning group names, because my point is not that one is evil and the other is good. they are what they are, and going in, i knew what each was about, and respect each for what they are. to quote Norris Church Mailer, "I bought a ticket to the circus - I should not be surprised to see elephants." (or similar). just don't come from the sad group and stick a toe into the other group pretending it isn't JUST about the cashflow. when it is, it is. and unless you have the vibe in you, you cannot possibly fake it. at least not for long. so my quibble is not with commerce. and it isn't with making money. it is with authenticity. i had a long conversation with Kelleygirl this morning (as conversations with me tend to be) and we discussed this topic. as i turned away from a potentially lucrative opportunity, there was some regret. however, i knew that i would need to become consumed in studio work in order to produce what they needed, when they needed it. and part of doing what i do is so that i don't have to miss the important moments in life - i can take a day at the lake if need be, or if i just want to. i can take a day to reach out to help someone. and i can decide where i want any proceeds from my sales to go. for a long time - like 12 years - i have had a dream. literal & figurative. this dream project has been so intensely real to me, that i can describe every detail of every square inch of every room, and the dishes and silverware and paper and pencils and sheets on the beds and even who is there. this respite house will be born, and i feel it will be soon. i've felt this soonness before, but i wasn't ready to do it properly. a wise queen told me i wouldn't need to push or pull it into being, that it would just happen, and i would guide it. i visualized clay on a potter's wheel. i can tell you from experience, if you stress too much trying to make clay do what YOU want, then your neighbor will be wearing your creation all in their hair. (I got a B in ceramics in college - an arrangement that was worked out if i agreed to just write a paper about ceramics and observe, but Not Touch The Clay). (the other lesson of clay is that patience is a virtue, and also that you should not put your idea out there - in the kiln - unless you've prepared the clay properly.) so yes, it's true that once again, i have had my share AND your share of caffeine today. and i bet you guessed that about 10 minutes ago. but, it is now time to get back to work. keep it real, y'all.

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