day 4

i've been doing just fine on the not smoking thing. actually, hadn't noticed i wasn't. till tonight, a bit. they say that the hardest time for a woman to try to quit smoking is that 1 time a month when her hormones are raging like bull. well, since i haven't had that particular worry since february, i figured i was home free. not so fast. last night, out of the blue...you guessed it. of course. so very "me." well, it seems like the ultimate test is before me. at this moment, i honestly could just pick up where i left off, and the 4 days be damned. after spending a day on the end of a phone filled with furious people, and now THIS, i probably could backslide. but i won't. i've come too far to go through this all over again with the pills etc. i have a million excuses for either side of the argument, but have made sure enough people know about my triumph so i don't want to un-disappoint. it's not that people aren't cheering and well-wishing. it's just that, for a smoker to see another smoker trying to quit....it makes them feel like they'll be the last man standing (standing outside...in the winter....to smoke). so although they wish you well, it's sort of a strange relief when you re-join them. but...i have too much at stake. the chance to leave my Big Girl job is way too compelling of an oppty! so i'll go sleep this one off. RIGHT NOW! hey - go to Swirly's website and order her book! you will not will not be disappointed. Linda