tiny steps

I've begun a Tiny Steps initiative in my life…asking myself "what tiny step can I take today to become who I am?"  Some days there is nothing more than grinding fresh beans for coffee, or sitting on the patio as the sun comes up.  Last week, I went to a new hairdresser who Got It, and re-did my do.  it made a very big difference.  not much of a vain person, but really need my outsides to represent my insides a little better.  and to that end…I started thrifting - popping tags, as the song goes.  I've been going to the local Thrifty Shoppers with a friend.  Rose knows which ones are good for pants, which ones have great shorts, etc.  and once a month, everything in the stores are 50% off.  I never not ever thought I'd buy serious clothes there, but when i scored an Ann Taylor CaShMeRe sweater for $2, I rethought the whole darn thing.  And of course a set of bone china for $10.  and it occurred to me that I could dump all the clothes (well, most of them) that have sat in my closets for a while…the ones that don't fit great or are kept "just in case"…in case of what?? if i don't love them LOVE them, then they don't represent, and guess what?  Someone else can pop a tag and get my old clothes!  It is such a light feeling to pare down.  shoes, tops, pants, especially dresses - all in the Thrifty bin.  knowing that i can buy "new" for hardly any cash when i NEED something is a good feeling.  a lot of the things i ended up with still had store tags on them.  and they all represent.
2 weeks ago, i started a Meetup group for people to meet 2x/month on sunday mornings and go walk our dogs.  simple.  the fact is that i've hibernated within myself and my home too darn long, and need to branch out a bit…make friends that will be a part of my new life.  not discard the old…no way!  but knowing that my besties are living far away, it's time to get out more.
This week, my Tiny Step was to realize that I control my own story…I decide what happens…and decided to stop letting life HAPPEN to me and to make life happen!  This seems like such an easy concept, and a natural way of thinking, right?  But i had gotten so used to disappointment and living for others and being told i was not measuring up - in small, constant ways.  the day i stepped back into my radio job was the day i realized how far i'd let things go.  and i am moving back to myself, and taking control of my story.  one thing i've wanted to do is camp.  i know, right?  so today, i bought this:

yep.  a 1-person+Henry tent.  I live an hour away from Eureka Tent company, and they have wicked good used-and-refurbished sales.  I called them (because i couldn't wait for an internet order) and the guy said they were all out.  My disappointment must've been obvious because he put one together for me (not sure how that works) and it should be here in 2 days!  I wish many blessings upon him for this - he has no idea what it means to me.  it is huge.  it is much more than a Tiny step, in ways which I can't explain here. and the day it arrives, i will camp in my backyard until i can figure out where else to go.  it should be easy to let Hen out to go potty!  

I am going Tiny in my life…tiny steps, tiny amounts of stuff to own, tiny tent.  and the more i unburden from my "stuff," the larger my heart grows.  There are long moments where the tears threaten as my heart explodes with gratitude.  I realize how my Stuff has been a burden, in some cases - objects that have kept my feet cemented in place because Where Could I Store All This Stuff?? I am about to embark on a journey through the gritty, ugly stuff, but i know i will be fine…i have had some of the most inspiring guides going ahead of me, and some of the most amazing supporters beside me - my wingmen and my flankers…nothing can touch me!  I may get wounded, but the battle will be my victory.