I'm drinking spiced tea from a beautiful teacup, given to me by a dearheart a little over a week ago. it seems like i dreamt that we had an afternoon of food and shopping and just being women. last night, not much sleep, as diva was not inclined to sleep on the floor and whined and carried on until husband put her on the bed. then she couldn't seem to get comfortable and continued pawing at me, till i took her down to the couch for the rest of the night (morning?). Today was my art show reception, and i stood talking to people about the work, and accepted their compliments and questions, feeling genuine and bona fide and certain. This evening I face a mountain of dishes left undone, a request from husband to help clear out the garage, special preparations of dog dinner - hiding the meds she refuses under a careful blanket of chicken gravy and turkey coldcuts and dog food, replaying the day and wondering about all the faces i have worn in the past 24 hours...24 days...24 years...tonight as i prepared a special dog dinner, and wondered how long i could put off doing dishes, i wondered which of the realities i had lived in the past 24 hours 24 days 24 years were Me? the song Baby I Was Born This Way inexplicably threaded through my head as a backdrop...and i knew that, yes, i was born that way - to change faces and realities and focus throughout the day without so much as a blur of a line of demarcation, a skill passed down from mothers to daughters born at a certain time in history. and i wondered also, how many women of my age do this on a regular basis? how many women of my age wonder which, if any, of the faces they wear every day...every week...every year are their true bare bold faces? how many women my age wonder if it's right to hope for more, or different? if it's okay to take the first bite, or to leave dishes stacked till someone else does them, like they were left for them? to claim their first place, surefooted identity, and know it is as important and vital as any other? and i wondered how many women my age feel like they just want a day when they can sit with a cup of spiced tea in a beautiful teacup, and for One Whole Day...be.