last night i decided today would be a totally indulgent self-care day so i could finally whoop this bronchitis-y thing. having lost hearing in my left ear yesterday, i decided maybe a dr. appointment was in order, and set one up for 1:15. till then, i would lay about on the couch watching movies, dozing, and wishing i had my mommy to make me oatmeal. i took some nyquil before bed, to assure i'd sleep through my usual 2am wake-up. a good plan, right? it truly was. until someone started calling the house at 4am on my husband's business phone. the line that has no answering machine, but instead has a loud voice that says "PLEASE ENTER YOUR CODE" repeatedly while the glaring metallic hum of a dialtone spews from the speaker. i would expect a DIVE! DIVE! DIVE! submarine announcement to follow. but addled by nyquil, back to sleep i went. till 7am, when diva started fussing at me, tapping insistently on my eyes to open them. i got up, put on sweats and headed for the door to let her out, but she hadn't followed me...she was tucked into sleepy land. on my pillow. shazzbot. so i tapped on her, as is fair. coffee on, dog out, i am walking slowly with intention, so as to ease into the Day Of Indulgence And Rest. dog shrieking to come in. breathe deep. buddha breath. yes. calm-ish. i sit down on the floor to give her a puppy massage and EEEEEKKKK! a huge i mean HUGE monster tick is fattly gorging itself on her jawline. huge. and not pretty. ok, no panic. i heard something about olive oil and tweezers. grab them, grab her out from under the dining room table (no easy feat) and slather this nasty thing with olive oil, expecting, as i'd been told, that it would back right out and i would humiliate it and kill it dead. no luck, and diva was getting jiggy on the whole Stand Still thing. so i grasped it about the head area with tweezers and it flicked out. now i wondered if i got the head. furious texting to Perfect Stepdaughter who knows about these things, as she has a horse and 4 dogs. and checked the web. duh. rule #1 - don't use olive oil or baby oil. it's a myth and could cause infection. great. but it's out, and the forgotten flea & tick medicine properly dispensed along her shoulder blades. she's better, chasing bulimia cat, who has learned to upchuck on the fly. clean that up and realize i am a Big Dreamer if i think i can relax in this house at any time. maybe the Dr will run late, and I can nap in the exam room waiting in that chic paper gown thing.