mmm mmm good i tell you!

what a day to put a gold star on the calendar about. before you get excited...nothing mo mo monumental...just one of those days that make you smile as a constant parade of little presents pop up at you from the universe. it started out rough - 5:32am thunder followed by diva pacing my forehead, then leaping into the tub for safety...of course she wants ME to be safe, so she wolf-howls till i join her. Kita was the same way (till he went deaf). i had extra time before work, since going for a w-a-l-k was a laughable thought...i figured i'd have a cleanup job when i got home. THEN grandma (who woke up with the same thunder at her house) figured diva would be terrified, so she came over and got her. and is keeping her overnight. so i had time to stop at the bookstore after work! the day in between held gifts ...for once, the computers AND the phones went down at the same time, leaving idle hands for the devil's workshop. i Linda-ized the new (old) office a bit...faxing fun notes and pictures to everyone, and generally amusing myself in the usual ways...sticky notes that say "IMPORTANT!!" with a paper clip on them, and nothing attached, etc...juvenile. yes! my handprint on life. as i drove home - well actually ATTEMPTED to drive home, haven gotten on the hiway in the wrong direction - i decided to make this a mini brain vacation...i took my time as i drove, and planned an actual dinner for 1. i ended up having breakfast...scrambled eggs and some fabulous bread - honey apple oat, sliced thick thick. something cozy wrapped around me. a mug of Tiger Chai tea. I bought a load o' books and magazines at B&N, and will take a bubble bath as soon as the tub finishes filling. a bubble bath! i used to take them all the time, and (TMI time...) when hillbilly & I were dating, i insisted that we argue in the tub. hard to stay mad and naked at the same time. our new house has this tiny tub that even I can't stretch out in. maybe that's what i'll blame the trouble on. if you ever get to squam, bring bubble bath...huge clawfoot tubs. i have been formulating an SOP of sorts for my Self...rules to live by...things i wish i did, things i wish i do, things i will promise myself to do on a regular schedule. saturday mornings will be yoga...sunday nights will be Big Soak time with the other man in my life, Mr. Bubble (although i'll have to remember to shut the door - diva jumps in the tub when i'm in there...and i'm going to do The Artists Way with Spiral Betty a/k/a Nebraska. so more about the day's gifts...i scored some of the spankiest composition books on sale for 69-cents! artist way ching. my boss asked about my mannequin project, and said something so incredible about how she pictured me putting such-and-such on it...and i was amazed that she remembered a piece i'd described to her a few months back...Amazed! (a pause here for a moment of domestic drama)ok - so breaking up my zen moment of remembering my blessings, is the cat downstairs yowling and screaming and launching herself (himself) at something. a terrifying sound. i call my neighber to stay on the phone with me while i walk downstairs...no answer...i call my mother...no answer...i call the hillbilly who will no doubt start dragging his knickles from 9 hours away and tell me to grab the ruger with 14 in the clip and 1 in the tube and go downstairs with the headset on so i can grasp the handle like charlie's angles (he can smell the powder from CT), but no answer. i go down the stairs creepy creepy quietly just as the next scream/slam sound comes up the stairs, jumps into my throat and grips my heart while simultaneously at the same time i tell you exactly as my armpits fill with an icy cold wet terror and my feet refuse to listen to the brain which is screaming screaming i tell you GO BACK! RUN AWAY! like on all those movies where the girl is running from the monster man and drops her keys and somewhere in my movie right here right now, the ears hear a trickling sound not unlike that of warm water with zen-like soap bubbles floating on the surface just like that sound trickling over the edge of, oh, say, porcelain or fiberglass and pooling across tile yes just like that same exact sound but the feet are just too curious, so they go down the stairs just in time to see the cat launch itself at the picture window which is featuring a fern waving in the wind just outside. a fern. outside. waving in the wind. just a fern. and now, water. in the bathroom. not just in the tub, but in the bathroom. upstairs. and we know from 8th grade science that water will seek it's own level or some such crap i never paid attention, as i was too in love with the teacher and just doodled Mrs Linda Spofford all over my notebook for an hour. so. the only question remaining: where's the fucking vodka?