I feel as if I've just returned from a long journey...and in a sense, I have. My piece for the CORE show is done, and if I could download the flyer for it I certainly would ...my crazy computer has a mind of it's own. (or perhaps my mind isn't acting technical, but anyway...). I promised Georgia 1st viewing, and hope she feels what I put into this project...that will be my canary-in-the-mine. This has been the most excruciating process, and equally, the best spend time...it's been a while since I questioned the questions...i had begun to take for granted the fact that i could put nails and nuts and beads and metal and fiber togather and Make Art of it. it had been some time since i had been faced with feelings of being an imposter, or inadequate, or maybe just Average. and my usual M.O. is to teflon my way around those thoughts, and not accept them ...just ignore them outright. but apparently, this was my shining moment ordained to deal with those issues, lucky me. and i am patting myself on the back for boxing and fighting my way through them...facing them toe-to-toe, seeing them for the liar that they are, and slaying them. i have come away stronger and more certain. and more tired! what normally would have taken me a week to complete dragged on and on and on through the summer...every spare moment, every "sick" day, every weekend moment from 5am-midnight. and honestly, i never realized how debilitating uncertainty can be...how completely it could stop your feet in their tracks. sort of a mirror for my life. but back to art...i observed myself from a third-person perspective at times...shaking my virtual head and wondering why in the world this was such a big hoo-ha to not move forward...why each material was being questioned, and each placement of the FINALLY selected material was questioned. normally, the materials leap at me and there is, inside me, a knowledge that it belongs Here or There, and it is never questioned...i learned long ago that eventually it will all make sense and look Just Perfect. so don't stop the flow of the process...just be the hands. so that was a big issue...why was i stunting the process? why was i creating my own failure? in the past (the wayback past...like 40 years ago, give or take, yeah - like before i was born. ah-hmmm) whenever something got too hard or scary, i wanted to just quit - walk away. whether it was a skating competition, or a gymnastics competition (yes - this old ass used to do those things) when the going got tough, i was allowed to walk away. not pushed out there on the ice, or thrown onto the balance beam...just an Ok, You Don't Have To, and off to the mall. so although I've faced down a lot of demons and hard things throughout my life, it is the non-survival issues that seem to hang me up. yes - i can work 3 jobs in order to survive. yes...oh don't make me make a tragic & boring list - you get the point. but it's the Soul Enrichment issues. and i suspect there will be plenty more tests and strengthenings to come, but i feel like i've just aced the SAT of them all. so I thank you Anne, for putting this show together and Swirly for putting me together with it...and i thank myself for rising to the occasion and putting myself together. My "other" piece was called "She's Come Undone." The one being bubblewrapped and ready to ship is called "Honor." I'll post pictures as soon as Georgia sees it. now - off to find vodka. xoxLinda