rickety zen circus

it's amazing what your mind will concoct at 2am when left to it's own devices. and by 3:30, well....let me just say - it'll either scare you, or inspire you...depending on what you had for dinner, i suspect. having laid (lain? layed? ack!) (forget it - having been awake...)all night, for no particular reason, i finally gave in and went to the studio. i figured i'd ponder a bit and grow tired very quickly. i mean, last night by 8pm i was stumbling over my own words due to fatigue. and if you know me well, that's a lot of stumbling. so anyway, i decided to sketch out some ideas, but realized, once again, that i'm not a sketcher. i have to just dive in and DO....let the materials take me where they want to go. so very very quietly, i put on a CD...i thought it was some good Ella, but i'd grabbed the wrong disc. soon, the Manheim Steamroller Christmas CD was tickling my sensibilities...i mean, here it is in the middle of Indian summer, and i've got christmas music on! that kinda got me smiling, and less desperate for sleep. and then BAM! my christmas present arrived! without thought to the hour, or the need for sleep in order to be awake for work the next day....the Rickety Zen Circus was born! it was originally going to be this whole deep fiber art wallhanging with symbolism and texture and depth o' plenty. since i couldn't find the just right fabrics i needed, i grabbed some cotton duck that i bought a few months ago who knows why because it was there and struck me at the moment. bright red and bright yellow. strips cut strips sewn pleats niches yes i said pleats i know zip zip now blue here even tho it looks a little crayola yuk right now....the whole process was so meditative - since this wasn't A Project, i could just relax into the motions of making someThing and not have to really think about it. during that time i reworked my altered drinking fountain and have some fantastic ideas for the piano commission. (mentally). the entryway will have to wait. but as the sun began to light a little, i took a hard look at my handiwork. yow. all that wonderful zen-like night had been spent sewing the reddest red and yellowest yellow together...it looked like circus colors to me. which aside from my friend jenn who collects circus memorabilia, i'm not sure who would find it attractive. so time to schmutz a little...yarn fiber paint a little doodad dangles and a little more manheim...which just struck me as very twilight zone since i associate jenn with manheim steamroller since she dates (or dated) a guy in the band...hmmm...maybe this is for jenn? i had been working on a piece for her for about a year and just got all frustrated with it so there it sits half done. jenn is scary fun. i say she's my "friend" but when i think about it, we've only seen each other 3 times in our lives. the 1st was at a holiday open house hosted by my brother and his then-girlfriend. jenn and i were the first ones there of course, and we hit it off immediately. despite a never-ending well of stories about her bad behavior as the nights go on. each time i've seen her, her first words have been, "i hope i didn't embarrass you last night." that just cracks me up. she does not hold back when it's time to have fun, that's a fact. and although i'm MUCH more laid back, shall we say, when i go out (as if i ever go out which is next to never unless you count Jr Hockey Banquets and high school lacrosse games)i'm well past the age when other people's behavior embarrasses me. hell, i feel that at almost-50 that it's my JOB to embarrass my step-teens. pity me for thinking/feeling 20-something in an "old woman's body." i remember being similarly embarrassed by my mom at that age. now i Get It. so the Rickety Zen Circus is just about ready for hanging. where it will hang is a mystery for now. but what a way to spend a sick day from work, huh? by the way, is there any smell more cozy than that of clothes being ironed? mmmmmmmm. L.