cold water

remember when you were little and it was the first day the pool was open? you tested the water with your toe and IT WAS COLD. do you ease in slowly till you were used to it - or so numb it didn't matter - or do you just jump in and get it over with? well, the water is cold! i talked to the big boss today and explained how much of a benefit it would be for the company if i went part time. i detailed for her the new department i had created just for myself, and explained how productivity would actually INCREASE by me working less time, but in my own little new department. thank God for sales skills! she was impressed (i think) or maybe a better poker player than i give her credit for. or maybe just a little afraid of me. eaither way...i'll find out tomorrow if my proposal is a hit! i kept chanting my mantra all day ..."the money will come....the money will come." about 250 angry phone calls later (i was the callTAKER not call Maker), i was still chanting, but out loud this time. getting a little punchy by 2pm...wanting - no, NEEDING - a cigarette and the ladies room so bad. but no smoking on the premises. how could i have gotten a job like this?? wanting badly badly to be in my studio to use some of the rusty metal treasures my brother and my angelfriend gave me yesterday. but nooo. so all this combined to make me realize that the water may be cold, but i was jumping in with a big, huge bellybomber...jumping into my new life....well, my old life, actually, before i got the silly idea that Big Girls pull on strangling pantyhose and slip into pointy , uncomfortable high heels and leave their houses at 8am and don't get home till 7pm, then try to be Becky Home-ecy AND find time to be a good doggie-mom. oh yeah - and an artist! hunh. go figure why i'm exhausted! so the pantyhose will make a nice "skin" for my dolls, and the shoes will most likely find their way into some sculpture or another. so anyway, back to the mantra. i (finally) leave work, and lo and behold, on my cell phone there are 2 - count 'em 2 - calls from people who want me to do big, fat, juicy, exciting commissions for them! fun stuff - scary stuff - scary as in i-hope-you-really-want-me-to-schmutz-up-your-brand-new-nice-piano stuff. not to mention an entire entryway. can i get a witness here? how about an Amen? let me hear a Hallelujah! Jesus is come and He's bringin a ladder. quick - everybody look busy! (ok - i stole that last one from a t-shirt my brother brought back from Cabo.) ( course i don't think Jesus was real happy with the shirt, if you've checked the weather map recently). so it should be an interesting week, all in all. i'll check back in with you.....save some rusty nails for me! L.