what a strange day it was today...home from work (sick) but restless after the main "sick-ish" part subsided, so i started clearing off my work table and packing things up to mail out and organized odds & ends. it was mindless work...or was it? i've always had such a monkey-mind that i need to trick it into "watching the pony over here" while i got some Real Good Thinking done. and i did. and also cleared off a literal cartload of stuff from my table. my workstyle is messy...plow in and let it rip. leave the cleanup for later. i wandered about the house in my jammies, feeling emotional and weepy one minute, then ferocious and centered a few minutes later. i finally put on some kirtan, and did a Warrior pose til i thought maybe i'd never walk again. and some things swirled like a lava lamp and settled and tickled and swam like sea monkeys. (no...i don't smoke pot. any longer.) And i realized a lot of things i needed to, and was able to feel compassion for myself without all the ego, self-centered, or throw-myself-on-the-railroad-tracks whatever-ish. just gentle. and i realized that 1 thing i've been beating myself up over lately was what seemed to be a lack of outward compassion...not WASN'T - just SEEMED to be. example: my friend went through hell in the past 7-ish years..hell. i would NEVER have made it through what she went through. and i hope that i was the kind of friend to her that she is to me. when i look at her, i see a woman of incredible strength of character. i always have. so when she would mention certain things, i would never ever doubt that she would trounce through the situation and kick it to the curb, as if it was an annoyance rather than a Life Issue. and it always amazed me how she did it and was always smiling. as i approach a personal Life Issue, i realize she faced this same one down...and more, much more. and just did it. with grace. and strength. and if not with certainty of the result, at least with certainty that she would triumph....because she had to. i draw strength from you, my friends. and today as my monkey-mind watched the pony show and spilled popcorn all over, i gave thanks for each of you. and asked that special blessings and surprises be bestowed upon you. watch for the magic........L.