excuuuuse me!

so okay...everyone i know KNOWS i worked in radio, and still have a lot of friends/contacts in radio and have been known from time to time to CONTINUE to be on the radio. so now that that's on the table as the starting point...the baseline, if you will...i'll ramble on. when something incredibly out of the ordinary happens in my life (not hard to wait for) it WILL (i guarantee) at some point fly literally fly out of my mouth at the first radio-opportunity. it's an anomoly of radio people. you are sitting in a little room, usually alone, sometimes with 1 or 2 other people. it's dark-ish. there's no air, too much coffee and it is waaay too early. at some point, your brain just goes into the other room to keep from laughing out loud at your bladder which is sweating bullets waiting for that really really long song to come on. when the brain shuts the door, all hell is likely to fly out of the mouth which has seen an opportune moment and SEIZES IT like a slippery fish. so ALL that being said...when the opportunity came this morning for me to discuss (with 2 friends and a microphone) things that annoy me....well, that opened up a veritable Pandora's box. immediately the brain said Uh Oh and shot warning daggers to the mouth, which ignored them (or possibly was blinded by it's own twitching). how to narrow the list? how to make it somewhat family-friendly? i mean, most of the things that truly annoy me are not fodder for show-and-tell in Mrs. Vogel's kindergarten class. so trying to do any pre-damage control, the brain flashed an image of my husband in CT without his clothes at the very very important vendor meeting with his boss's boss's boss. the one that i woke up even earlier today in order to fedex his clothes to (see yesterday's post). yes. that was current. somewhat funny picturing him there. and you can say "underpants" at any time of day on the radio. so the mouth regaled my 2 friends and a microphone with the story. no embellishment was needed. it was perfect all in it's contained glory. he was out of town and would never know (unlike some incidents previous. who knew he'd actually be LISTENING??). so yuk yuk fun fun. off to the big girl job after fedexing. fast forward, oh about 12 hours while i head home tired as a beast. husband calls wanting to know if i dropped the package off at the Fedex DEPOT which is where he specifically stated he wanted the box dropped off. oops. der. the mouth, being ever helpful, decides it will save the day. it was soo very proud of it's little shining moment 12 hours earlier, that it told my husband what it had told my 2 friends....and a microphone. have you ever heard a silence so silent that you could see it come out the 2 tiny holes in the earpiece of your cellphone? a silence so silent, that all other sound... just... Stops. in fear? in curiousity of what will happen next? nudge nudge...hey - wait, shh...this is going to be good. all Sound leans in a bit to eavesdrop, but does that "don't look" thing we women do in restaurants (like, "don't look...but is that Jonatha Brooke? no don't look! right there...). a sound so silent, i figured i'd lost my signal, so i hung up. and drove home, quickly, to check the tracking number and pray to St. Airbill that the package was picked up, at the authorized (but non-Depot) fedex location DOWN THE STREET and was really on it's way, quickly, to CT. it is. i breathe. i smirk. tomorrow between 8:30-11am, i will reward the mouth with candy. after the package has been delivered. was i wrong? :) L.