Saturday, September 30, 2006
my grandfather was in a branch of military service in Canada,and an expression they'd use when their discharge date was near "i'm so short, i can sit on a dime and dangle my legs," meaning their time left in the service was short. that's how i'm feeling now - i start a job 10/9 working in an office, 8:30-5pm. i have such strong hesitations about it that it borders on near panic - that cartoon cat trying to be bathed feeling. all 4 legs spread out across the doorframe. you get the picture! i don't know if this is a gut feeling that this is not the right place for me to be going, or just the usual resist-change emotions in high gear. if i follw my instinct, i'd call and cancel the offer. but are my instincts guiding me? or is my brain in the way? the trepidation is stronger each day - "today is the last ______ i'll have before i go to work," etc. i know i'll dearly miss my little girl. i know i haven't had an actual regulation job in a while, so maybe that's the emotion bubbling. i need to sort this out and soon! so i'll be taking a few days off from the blog biz while i wrap up some art stuff and settle my mind. meet you back here around wednesday. if you have any thoughts/insights/words from beyond, please email me and i'll add it to the stew in my conflict! L.
at 10:02 AM