return of the music

i found this picture of Kita licking Bear's head taken 2 weeks before Bear left us....oddly, it was such a comforting thing. i can now rest in my heart that they are together - company for one another. once that burden was released, the creative ideas started to flow. up till 2am, slept till 5:30am, then in the studio again...tentatively (at first) moving glorious bumpy dupioni silk around till EUREKA! i have the shell of my design. now it's the hard part - how do i put this whole thing together?? i always start backwards....surprised i wasn't a breech birth. for me, color and texture are food - the rough texture of tree bark, the play of dazzling sunset light across the lake - i see whites and greys shimmer along beside purples and blues and un-namable colors..a blue jay's screech is vibrant...a morning dove or a bard owl conjure taupes and dusty mossy colors...i see and feel the world in sensory ways - sensuality at it's truest...the soft strong feel of roving turned to felt....the smell of Ivory dish soap sends me (i use it in my felting). funny how smell, in particular can trigger memory.....cotton candy or cooking sausage means State Fair....Chanel #5 is my mom (the one from my childhood, not her current mom-ness)...beeswax melting in my hot pot is a warm summer day all the way....the smell of a fabric store - well, that's Gail...and remember Patchouli oil from the 60's - er - a few years back? that's Francis from my high school bus - i envied her largeness - black wild hair past her shoulders and out like an afro, long woolen coats usually in taupe or black. she was tall. and large. and bold. and loud. she'd get on the bus (the last stop) and yell "hello fellow students!" then laugh raucously. I'm not sure what the busdriver thought, but i bet his route was less to look forward to once she graduated. she was the most incredibly exotic person i'd known up till 10th grade. never said a bad word to anyone - unless you decided to pick on someone. then watch it. hero of the underdog. on a wet day (rain or snow) the smell of patchouli would stick in our noses long after homeroom. and what about mac & cheese or meatloaf? food smells are a big part of my memory banks - although i remember more take-out and go-out growing up, then actual cook-out. funny how anything "scented" is now called "aromatherapy" and marked up a few bucks! and do we pay extra for un-scented? who ever heard of being chemically sensitive to smell in the 60's, 70's or even 80's? those of us who lived through those decades are lucky to have any sense of smell at all - noses clogged with pot and cocaine. smell is so connected to taste as well as memory, i think. and goodness knows, i relate to food! now that i think of it, some of my best pieces were food-related....eggplant and olive colors, etc.****** i took a quick break to check my email...my friend (since i was 12) Brenda and her husband Bob (who she met because I wouldn't go out with her one night) just moved to Castle Rock, Colorado. it sounds so incredible - mountains out your window....shopping nearby. i can only imagine my smoker's lungs trying to suck air in that elevation. but worth the view, i'm sure. well, i'm off to try a new Japanese/Chinese buffet up the street....usually leery of them - what IS all that gelatinous red slime hiding? but i can't cook,and no one else will tonight, so off to a new taste adventure. peacefulness.......L.