meditation & mediation

sometimes, you need to take a break - to mediate between the whirling circles of lists and chores and carpools and job demands, and the need for an oasis of calm that's all yours. to take a mental breath and revive. power napping was all the vogue in the 90's - sort of a form of meditation, but without the thought - just the closed eyes and rest. and i couldn't help but think of how often i hear the phrase "some days, there just aren't enough hours," or "I just don't have enough time." well, everyone has the same number of hours to work with in a given day. there are 24. and that part won't change. it's how you choose to use these precious gifts. yes - choose. yes, we have to work, and the number of hours per day we do that is pretty much determined by our employer. some are lucky enough to have flextime, or work from home options, but most do not. you have the power to choose to set aside time for just you. even if it's once a week. if you can't squeeze that in, then it's time to look at your choices....the things you choose to do with the hours you have been given. and by the way, do you know how many are in your time-bank? no one does. that's why it's so important to "use your time wisely." saying "no" or "at another time" to kids, husbands, wives, etc in order to make time for yourself - is not evil! you are you. you deserve a day or half-a-day or an hour or 30 minutes - just to do something that makes you happy ....the biggest indulgence i can come up with so far is a pedicure. i thought it would gross me out, but i went to the casino and had an ice cream pedicure (one of the free perks of radio) and lost my mind! (no comments). try this: find a quiet place in your home where you won't be disturbed. bring 2 very thick books. lock the door. dim the lights, if possible. light a scented candle if you'd like. now... lay on the floor on your back. bend your knees. your toes and the balls of your feet should be on the books, flexing your feet. bend your arms at the elbow, and rest your hands and forearms on your stomach by your belly button. this is called "the perfect resting position." in this position, every single muscle in your body is allowed to rest - ahh ha - except one - that hamster-wheel in your brain. okay - close your eyes. feel your spine naturally gravitate to the floor. breathe in through your nose, and out through your nose - a deep one. don't hold it in between the in and the out. just a nice deep, gentle, steady, cleansing breath. the 1st time, examine what is churning on that wheel....lists of things to do? disappointments? fears? take them out 1 at a time and examine them. is that particular issue worthy of using one of your precious time-bank hours? if so, then get it done, and remove it from the wheel. pull out those items 1 at a time. manage them, catagorize them. deal with them or dismiss them. get rid of them. you own your time-bank hours....it's your job to use them in the best way you can. there are no line-of-credit accounts at this bank. prioritize. what is important to you? how would you like to live your life? i believe that each of us is here for a reason. it isn't necessary to go to Tibet to discover the reason - just live your life. somewhere, your life is a wheel or a cog that meshes with another and so on, creating ripples and touching lives we never imagined - sort of like that book Pay It Forward. do you find yourself helping others live their lives, even though they are quite capable? making their decisions for them, making their lives easier by doing ____(fill in the blank - laundry, cooking, carpools, dishes, housework, etc). if that gives you joy and fulfillment, fine. if not, why aren't you asking for help? look at it as giving another person an opportunity to feel good about helping YOU. older children with issues in their life....why are you still living their life for them? i promise, they'll still love you if you allow them to make their own decisions, support themselves, get themselves out of the jam they've gotten themselves into. there's a boundary between giving someone a hand up or a help out in time of need/crisis, and taking over the problem for them so they don't have to deal with it. and limits can be placed on the help you give. count the change in your time-bank. trust me on this. if it feels right to you, maybe it's time to "manage your time" rather than "let time get away from you." time is always there....always the same. it's how we use it that shifts perception. once you've cleared the hamster-wheel, take a few minutes (or more!) to think about what your dreams are....."I've always wanted to ____" what's stopping you? can that be overcome in some way? i've always wanted to learn how to salsa dance. i have 3-left-feet. so i looked into lessons, and am saving up for them. i will learn how to salsa dance somehow and soon. i may only dance in the privacy of my home, but the joy of accomplishing this is already sweet in my thoughts, and helps me make better choices with my money - new shirt, or dance fund? see how this goes? it's so wonderful, this "time management" stuff. you are master of your own given time. the trick is that you don't know how much you have - an hour? a day? 40 years? so live mindfully, and live kindly....that person who stole the last up-front spot at Wegmans in the rainstorm....maybe their account is running low. don't make them spend their time fussing with you. it just isn't that important. so try this "perfect resting meditation/mediation" a few times. see if it helps. at least you got some time alone! L.