an early walk with diva this morning, before the heat of the day captures her stamina. the grass was cool and dew-laden, and the woodspath still damp from yesterday's rain. the earthy, loamy smell of the woods greeted us after we passed through the echo echo tunnel. a beautiful moon saturday, and fireworks nearby...both vying for attention. moon wins, hands down. the brilliance of the meteor shower across clear, dark skies. the past week has been like that - a shower of burned up discard streaking away from me. good, in that a clearing away was much needed. but it left a vacuum and an itch...like the feeling when you're hungry for something but don't know what. you check the pantry, the shelves, the fridge, but upon examination, nothing seems quite what will satisfy you. i don't know what my spirit needs, right now. but it needs something. it's ready to move on to the next step. and i am teetering in the "trust" department, which was (is) my intention word. trust. a difficult word, a difficult way to master. i've danced with this word/way many times, and always abandoned it. it is difficult for me to trust...always looking for suspicion behind a door, just to be sure. or grinding it out myself, rather than trust someone else will do their part. makes for a good producer in the field, but not so easy on the heart. or hands. so trust. and what of this itch to make movement in some direction - but which? and how? so for now i sit, feeling overly caffeinated, waiting, trusting that i will find my way.