yesterday afternoon, i took a break and watched "Who Does She Think She Is?" which i think should be required viewing for any female artist ... and their partners. and somewhere in the middle of the documentary, tears began to slide down my cheeks. so many trial-and-error things to this new life...there is no handbook, or orientation day...only making it up & figuring it out as you go. I am lucky to have strong pioneer women in my circle of friends that i can call on when it all just seems overwhelming (daily!)...and so far have had the surprising support of my husband, who formerly only grudgingly admit i was an artist (he once sat next to a female artist on a plane who was returning from a trip to install her huge bronze sculpture in front of a city hall, and said his wife "likes to do artsy things - i think she's a scrapbooker." He meant assemblage.) as the months have continued on, i have felt less like an artist, and more like a businessperson. it's important to view this as a business - it's what i do for a living now. but i have been missing that blissful joy that bubbles up when i turn on the studio lights and smell the paint and glue, and see all the possibilities waiting for me. so yesterday, despite a list of things to do to get ready for this weekends art festival, i took a break. i walked out of the studio and into the woods. i shut off the computer - not just put it in sleep mode. i left diva dog snoring under my worktable, and took my own self alone for a walkabout. and felt renewed. and found a new sense of direction and rightness and back-on-trackness. i realized that i love doing specific pieces for specific people - whether it's jewelry or collage or assemblage. and realized that these festivals are not for me...although they are an excellent way to introduce myself to a larger audience, the nuts-and-bolts behind the scenes stuff? not so much. for instance, Friday i have to be onsite at 4:30am, unload a van and a car, move both vehicles, set up an EZ-Up tent (which I assure you is not so EZ up), set up my displays while Elizabeth sets hers up, then, sweating like a bull, start greeting customers and continue this till 6pm when we have to remove everything except the tent. rinse and repeat 2 more days. oh- i forgot - thursday night pack the van & car. my husband has been told he is required to be there with me at 4:30am to help set the tent up. not only do we need his muscles, but i think it's important that he see what is involved, so he realizes that i don't just sit in my pj's all day playing with jewelry stuff. he has a way of moving at his own pace when there is a time deadline, resulting in arguments and stress between us anytime we have to catch a plane or make it somewhere at a specific time. a while back i decided that i would take my own vehicle when possible, and watch from my window on the plane as he stands on the tarmac wondering how the plane could've left without him. but that's an issue for another day. and as usual - i'm off track. my point is that i need a hiatus from doing what i should do, and let my soul speak through the paints and matte mediums and papers and metal for a while. and as soon as i've completed my commitment to this festival, that is where you'll find me: working on some tasty custom orders for necklaces, then collaging my big behind off! i'm excited and energized by the thought, and can't wait to see what develops. wishing you a day of epiphanies!