so here we are on the day that celebrates freedom (and mattress/box spring combinations at 50% off) and here, right here in line at the grocery store with 200 other crazed people who had no particular holiday plans and decided to grocery shop...there. That's where my snarky foul attitude of today caught up with me and my head, i tell you, almost blew off. if you were near me in line, you never would have known, because of course i kept that smile on my face while the sweat ran down my scalp and soaked the nape of my neck, and a puddle of sweat and ill-will and nasty pooled in my bra like the tide testing the levee and i thought for sure This Was It right here in the grocery store is where i finally blow my cool and why couldn't it be Tiffany's or at least Saks? so i sucked in some air and gently blew it out, telling my head that it better not talk to the mouth, because if one cell in this body listens to the nasty attitude, then there would certainly be hell to pay. so i sidetracked the brain by asking it what it was so upset about all day? just what could bring on a full-blown tantrum-like attitude at this late stage of life and with all the blessed goodness happening every day and the fact that i had predetermined that i would use the husband's debit card for groceries...just what could possibly be the problem? and as i mulled that, i realized just how blessed i was...you know how a person casually says "count your blessings" (usually after something bad happens and they have something to top that story) well that's exactly what i had to do in the same way a person would count sheep to get some sleep...and i looked at the cashier who was perhaps the slowest cashier in all grocery history, and i saw her...in a flash i saw her...she was an older woman (even older than me!) and here she was on the 4th of July standing on her feet at the hottest register by the door where the warm tar smells came in with every customer and she was just doing what she could do to earn some money and had probably been at it for many hours without a break and the screaming kids and nasty people and the coupon-clipping fanatics all conspiring against her mental stability and she was smiling and thanking people for shopping there as if it was her store...and i was next in line with some tempest inside me ready to scream I Will Buy Your Freaking Groceries For Life If You Just Put Those Freaking Coupons Away And Be Gone Step Off Already. and i realized that i had best shove this nasty sweat-inducing moment back to wherever it came from and start acting like the so-called enlightened person i believed myself to be. and something wonderful happened. in the moment where i saw her, she looked up at me and smiled so very sweetly and truly, and said Thank You For Your Patience. thank me? for my patience? how in the world did she feel that i needed a pat on the head for letting her do her job and make each customer feel special as they juggled coupons and crying children and benefit cards and their life in general and wondered what they may have to put back because even with all that preparation there wasn't enough money. and she was thanking me for being patient while all that was going on. and i felt ashamed and sad, but also glad that i stopped the irrational soundtrack of hot flash before it took hold of my Mood In General. and in line in front of me, the Cheez Doodles did not make the cut, but everything else seemed to, and now it was my turn to return the favor to this woman on her feet for so many hours and give her my truest smile and thank her for working today so that i could grab my groceries. her name was Lydia.