sand dunes & snow dunes

i promise i'll post pictures. but not now. i'm enjoying my last night diva-less, with a bonus of husband-less. i say "enjoying," but i miss my girl like cooked food. she'll be here when i get home tomorrow. right now, i'm basking in the screaming silence. no tv. no talk. no appliances. or fans. or telephones ringing. or...anything. just the tap-tap of the computer keys. what a nice weekend...i said Welcome Back to my lake...just stretching and pushing away the last of the snow dunes - huge Alaska-sized icebergs piled up along the beach...a dangerous temptation to walk out on, when suddenly a cave-in and you're whisked under water...then a long stretch of water beyond the bergs, and more white about 6 miles out...but what is it? it seems to move and shimmer, and a low, insistant humming sound accompanies it...oh the sight! hundreds of thousands of snow geese making their way north! i try to take a picture, but they're too far. i stand transfixed at the spotting scope, relenting only when it's clear i've taken too long a turn...then to the binoculars...suddenly a great white tornado forms as a group rises, adjusts position and re-settles...i wonder what they think...i wonder what it feels like to have an instinct so sharp and certain that they Know that Today is The Day to migrate...to form up in double rows with a leader honking the way...who decides who leads? nature is an endless source of amazement. i came home in the mood for a movie, and remembered i still had Nights In Rodanthe from Netflix. i love Diane Lane. there's a part in the movie where she's telling Richard Gere about herself, and being seperated. she says (loosely quoted) that when you marry, you become who you think you should be, and then little by little you compromise and give up pieces of yourself till one day, you only have a little left... and no one wants what you have become. later in the movie she tells her daughter that there are 2 kinds of men...one kind will help you become more than you ever thought you could be, and the other will make you become less than you ever thought you could be. both scenes were very interesting. i don't necessary feel that way right now, just so you know, but i think it's so interesting how we work off the dynamic of one another...how one person can make us strive to be better / happier / whatever, and how another just brings out the worst in us. recently, a friend of mine emailed me and told me, basically, that she didn't want to continue our friendship. and i had to agree. i apologized if i had made her feel bad in any way, but i had to say it was a relief. she isn't a horrible person, but we just brought out the worst in each other, and i'd find our conversations were just not doing either of us any good. maybe in the future we can make a different friendship...one with limits and boundaries. but it's funny how 1 person can affect the whole room...at work, there's one girl that so very clearly does not want to be there...and if you don't notice right off, then her huffing and bitching will clue you in. i have brought in a spritzer bottle labeled "Vibe-Rite" and spray it at her desk area and tell her to get her vibe right or else. she's nervous of me since the Crow incident, and will generally keep it to herself. fear this, bad-mood-girl. now this is an office filled with normal people, but the stepford thing about it is that i have never not ever in almost 3 years heard a single back-stabbing word...never has there been gossip or tale telling about someone (unless they're all talking about me and i'm clueless). which is amazing for such a huge organization. i hate gossip. i mean, i like to know all the skinny on everything, but i hate how destructive it is. and here i ramble. but i do promise to post some Lake pictures as soon as i get my lazy butt upstairs to the thingie that you put the card-a-ma-bob into. probably wednesday-ish. so y'all keep watch for spring this week. L.