a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.


Friday, April 25, 2008


i am just overwhelmed with the possibilties and opportunities that have been placed before me...a grand meal awaiting me....on the good china, no less! something about having my piece, Alchemy, selected for the Schweinfurth show just has me awestruck. i've been making art for 30 years now, but mostly for myself, for friends, and commissions. i'd thought about exhibiting in shows or galleries, but never felt "good enough" to. this show acceptance (juried, by the way, by people Not From Around Here) has made me feel legit. my art hasn't changed (other than the natural, usual growth thing), but i feel like the hard work has paid off. like maybe when someone says they like a piece, hmmm, maybe it IS good...maybe they aren't just being polite. which brings me to another thought....it's about people who don't believe in themselves. yes, i've just spent some mom-time. why is it that you can know a person, and see all the wonderful things they are, but they don't believe you when you tell them? and worse, distrust your intentions when you point out the things that make them so special? why don't they see their own worth/value/possibilities/whatever? and i hate to use those terms, because it makes it sound like there is a measuring stick somewhere, and that it would be possible to not measure up on the Worth scale, or Value scale. every every every thing has qualities that make them unique, needed in the Grand Synchronicity of Life. it is our job as part of that orchestra to live Truly. to be our best selves, because that Self is needed somewhere, somehow. by feeling Less, you are denying the world your part in it. no one is Less. they are what they are. yes, keep walking your path. yes, the inner you may change, but that's as intended. in fact, the Zen card for today says: "Success is not found in what you have achieved, but rather in who you have become." although part of who you have become may include your achievements, achievements alone are hollow. i always thought that if i could make X amount of money at a job, i would be happy and feel successful. so i set about to do that. and i did. and i wasn't happy. the maintenance involved in holding that financial line - time, lack of time - stole from my soul. i had a lot of "things" but no time to enjoy them. the lifestyle wore golden handcuffs....and the time came to turn the key and release them. oddly, i am now immeasurably more satisfied with less. and more appreciative of what i have. true, i have a dependable 2nd income through my husband. but i know that at some point, i would have chosen Less, no matter what. who knows. i do know that i am becoming my best self, and in that process, AM my best self every day. for whatever that day needs. it's funny how Spring awakens and reminds me of the bountiful table that has been spread before me...the endless choices to choose from. i am deeply grateful for being given those choices...living where i am, at the time that i am in...being able to say i will split my time between art and a Big Girl Job. and being able to surround myself with precious jewels of friends, like you. i am more Me because of you. that is my success. L.

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