sseeing ddouble

okay...i'm blind as a bat...contacts or thick lens glasses. so when i get a new pair of glasses, it's the mortgage money, so to speak, and a side order of angst. those cute, trendy frames look like drew carey specials on me. so imagine my excitement when i found a pair of frames in the color and style i actually like! the fact that my vision provider misquoted me by, oh, $350 is another story for another day. so part of the deal is also that there is no way to get these lenses in the advertised 1-hour or less. i know that going in and i am fine with it. so today, i got a call that My New Glasses are ready...a week early!! whoo hoo! so i get there, ready to sigh that they looked good on the rack, but here we go with another Frames-As-Birth-Control look. au contraire! i love them! so what's the catch, you may be asking yourself. well let me tell you....i can't see out of them. the lens was made wrong. sob. after much wrangling and adjusting, the eye guy says "wear them a few days...blah blah vertex..blah blah something technical...adjust." so i agreed because i love them, stood up and knocked down a nice display of wipes and cleaners. then bent over to try to fix it and hit my forehead on a Ray Ban display. needless to say, making it to my car was frightening, increased only by the fact that i now had to make my way home in this vehicle. somehow. but i had errands to run. important ones. to the rust emporium. i got the key in the lock on the 2nd try - a good sign. 2 is a lucky number isn't it? i crossed myself as best as i knew how, put the car in gear, and away we went. i say "we" but "I" was the only one in the car - both of me. things went from fishbowl-y to double to wavy. "don't eat the brown acid." so i figured by dinnertime, things would stabilize, but not so much. it is somewhat recreational, but for the love of cocopuffs, i have to DO things that require focusing on them....boiling water...gluing things...not dropping diva dog. WAAAAA! plus now i'm noticing these glasses are just a leetle bit too big...sliding down my nose ever so slightly - just enough to really stir the pot, vision-wise. sigh. but i love these glasses....they hardly look like coke bottles, and the frames are swell. i just can't see out of them. am i asking too much? maybe. i looked into lasik, but there's just something unnerving about intentionally shooting a laser at your EYE. you only get 1 chance at it. and it's not cheap. every once in a while i sneak a peek at the grocery scanner just in case that will do just as good. i guess that's why i wear huge-o glasses. aaaaanyway. so i got a call today from an interior designer who wants to commission me to do some headboard work for her. "not the babydoll head stuff" Sheesh - you put 1 babydoll head in one piece and you're branded for life. but it turns out that there are many headboards and they will be spotlighted in a Very Big Venue. and since she's an awesome awesome friend, i said yes. (kathy if you are reading this....you know who i mean, and she likes ME better. she told me. yeah.). i will try to do something "nice" and not lose my mind over it. it just never looks done to me unless it has schmutz on it! so hey - now i can do 2 at once if i leave my glasses the way they are! i feel like man-friend Kato in the Pink Panther movie when he disguised himself as a Chinese waiter and wore those "bug-eye" glasses on top of his usual glasses! (not to be confused with Kato Kalen). so i'm off to try the stairs now! say a prayer! Llindaa