ok i'm back...did you miss me? i am exhausted, and my thoughts are still nebulous, so i'll give you this bit, borrowed from a friend's post....it is apropos: Cherish your solitude. take trains by yourself to places you have never been. sleep alone under the stars. learn how to drive a stick shift. go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. say no whenever you don’t want to do something. say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. decide whether you want to be liked or admired. decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. ~ Eve Ensler (my apologies for the rip-off, Jen...it's just that you have no idea how perfectly appropriate those words are right now.) oh heck, as long as I'm not being very original here, a redux...Brian Andreas' StoryPeople message from a month ago hit my spot and bears repeating: I don't know how long I can do this, he said. I think the universe has different plans for me & we sat there in silence & I thought to myself that this is the thing we all come to & this is the thing we all fight & if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become beautiful with mystery again & I sat there silent because that is not something that can be said.