there are many many reasons why people read blogs...to learn about new cultures and lifestyles, or learn new ways of doing things, for example. i suspect people read this blog for the invaluable life's instructions and warnings they find. you know, such as - do not ever think that you can color your hair at home and end up looking like the girl on the box. ever. first of all: she is 14. she has been professionally coiffed using products not found in the box in your hand. she has professional makeup on, has professional lighting not found in your average bathroom, and, again -she is 14. now i'll remind you that one of my sworn promises to myself on New Year's eve was to take better care of myself - inside and out. specifically to have my hair professionally colored and get a pedicure every few weeks. and never ever let my roots equal the amount of darker hair. and i did keep that promise, mostly, until a month or three ago. maybe 4. back when my hairdresser kept confusing me with my mother, and then my new hairdresser confused me with k.d.lang. So i am in search of another new hairdresser who will see me for the soulful woman that i am all on my own. but meanwhile, i had roots that were attracting moths at night, that's how bright they were. i had a box that the checkout girl at RiteAid assured me would look "like totally perfect" on me, but then went a little rogue on myself. feeling a little zippity do dah, i decided i could hi-lite my hair just as good as anyone else. yeah, okay. i did, in all fairness to the box, see the twitch in the checkout girl's eyebrow when i returned with two boxes - 1 color, one highlight. shoulda coulda wouldn'ta. but did. now, let me set the scene by telling you that the k.d. look has grown a bit into a nice canadian mullet. i am waiting for the sides to grow a bit more before i actually leave the house (kidding), but no really - before i ask yet another hairdresser to make an attempt. i am not a vain person. this whole time spent on hair thing is making me crazy. there are so many other things i want to be doing besides coloring and growing my hair. ok. so we are in my bathroom with the stuff all mixed, and the gloves on. the door is shut, having learned my lesson with the Incident of kitty vs. plaster, and i squirt the stuff on. not quite as drip-free as promised, but manageable. i'll spare the details and just say it wasn't horrible once it was all dried and ready for phase 2 - highlights. and while i was mixing the nasty blue stuff, i'm thinking "now why am i doing this,again?? i just made my hair darker to make it lighter?" but common sense was wasted. i was rockin that cap with all the dots on it, poking that crochet hook through and coming up empty more times then not. so i'd have to fish back through the little hole again. yes. making the hole bigger. duh, like i wouldn't know that and think to myself "hey - this hole is so big that the stinky blue stuff will smoosh inside and you'll have polka dots on your hair." i mean, any reasonable person would've caught that right away, right? aaaanyway. i push on. one side looks a little fuller than the other, but my arms are tired, i'm hungry, and tonight is Big Date Sushi night, so WTH. i smear the blue stuff on, and, hunh...it feels cold in places it shouldn't - like under the cap. but i suppose it's an illusion. can i stop here and say this: if you must absolutely must color and hilite your own hair in your own home because oh, maybe you spent the mortgage money on vet bills, or maybe you forgot your promise to your very own self, or because you can't find a decent hairdresser in this 1-horse town...if you must - then do it on a friday. that way you'll have half a hope of getting in to any any hairdresser who can possibly fix or even just hide what you have wrought upon your own self. no one else to blame. you did it to yourself. and the clairol hotline does not operate at full staff on saturday, if at all. another life lesson learned? no, i'm afraid this happens over and over in my bathroom. learn from me....the box lies....you will not look like her (unless you already do), it is not nice or easy, and although my roots may glow, i am frosted. pray for low lighting in the sushi place. ************************************************************* diva is progressing nicely, although has begun to wet the bed. she hasn't tried to wake me up at all, and i walk her just before bedtime. i hate to do the pampers on her, but there's nothing that will creep you out more than waking up from a dreamy sleep and your knee is in a puddle. even if it's yours, it's still not right. but when it's your dog's...that's a whole new level of yuk. ************************************************************** yes. i am still painting. i had to spend time making jewelry and worried that i'd lose my swerve with the collage thing, but it's still going strong. i have some Great news i'm hoping to share tomorrow or monday!! ************************************************************ more life lessons you probably already knew: when you're at work and listening to your iPod, do not even lip sync. don't. because your lips will become used to moving, and then OH a catchy song comes on, and you notice you're whispering along to the song, then maybe getting a little tiny vocalization in and then the singer let's an f-bomb fly, and your innocent vocalization becomes something quite much more. just don't do it. promise me. well - off to makeup & wardrobe, then sushi. don't forget to set your clocks back tonight!