a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.

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Monday, November 08, 2010

loved the extra hour of sleep this morning...was not happy that the hour followed me to work and continued till 5pm though! husband blew out his back totally yesterday...the whole crumpling into a heap and screaming nightmare of it. he is resting comfortably, having fortified himself with many long-named prescription drugs. the dog, feeling his pain, fortified herself with kitty box stuff. between "Bow Wow! Let me out," and "honnnnney can I have a glass of water?" i am (again) solid in my heart that i made the right choice in not having children. i, myself, have much to whine about today, but have used my superpowers to command it all to vaporize. and now i'm sitting in a quiet cozy livingroom with a handful of Halloween leftover Milk Duds, willing my dental work to stay put. yes, i know, i'm not supposed to have sugar. but i will dare Fate to come close enough for me to get a good whack at him. it will not be a fair fight. still getting over the absolute humiliation of running into my high school science teacher at the bookstore yesterday, and stammering my way through some godless remote village of conversation...not even conversation...more like oh just the nonsensical utterings that flew from my mouth as the shell of my body stood there, but the rest ran away as fast as it could shouting DAFT NUTTER! it may help you to understand my incredible lack of self preservation to know that Every high school girl had a mad crush on him...he is so far past handsome, there is no scale...he was nice, he drove a stingray corvette, and...and...he played in a band. now how much cooler could a guy get?? how may times could you sign up for remedial help without it looking obvious? how many times did we wish laura with the boobs and tight fuzzy sweaters would just Move Away? and now. here he was. i saw him, and before i could fast forward the inevitable scenario in my mind (me making a total ass out of myself) before that, the mouth opened up and said "Mr. so-and-so!" (but i used his real name). he said "Linda - i think you can call me by my first name now." 3 cells in my brain said RUN! the rest just sat in cryogenic hopelessness. i may have drooled, and not in a lascivious way. just in a duh sort of way. all those witty little pleasantries you store up...all those cocktail party conversational weiners you could casually offer up...no. i'm afraid not. so the endlessness of it went boldly on, as i as verbally tripped and mortified myself, trying to find a way out of the labyrinth...wishing with all my heart that i had been home schooled, and then would not have even met this poor man standing before me who was likely thinking "what the freak is she Talking About??" and to be fair, he wasn't helping much. i know, the entire confrontation lasted perhaps under 2 minutes, but will replay on an endless loop in my mind. at night. just as i drift off into na-na land. somewhere in my brain, someone will snap the overhead light on and hit the start button of the projector, and the Most Embarrassing Moments reel will engage sprockets and cogs, and it will be a long night, my friends. a long night. with an extra hour to boot.

1 comment:

Kim Mailhot said...

Oh those moments...why, why do they happen ?
Hope the whining stays to a minimum today. Did you ever think that work would be an escape ?
Hugs, Lovely Linda !