it was a difficult morning.  the weather seemed to sense the mood and began a drizzly sleet that cut into faces and made the general mood of the entire city....miserable.  I sat in a 9th floor office beginning the ending of my marriage.  it was a difficult morning.  the first of a few more to follow.  not to make more of it than it was...not to compare it to Actual Feats Of Courage and Misery...but i felt like i needed to take a deep breath and move forward into a major medical procedure...how my sister(s) must have felt when she was to begin having a nasty drip of toxins start running her veins to kill the killer in her breast and body.  no, not the courage needed for that journey - that's Real Courage.  but i wanted to put my arms out across the door frame and not have to go into the room, like giving a cat a bath.  and then i got an email from a Tejas tootsie that gave me a heartbeat back, and a text from my sister wife that helped my lungs take in breath.  and my HeadReel changed from" I can't i can't i can't" to "bring it bring it bring it."  And i looked out the window at the exact minute that the skyscraper clock flashed 11:11 in giant red numbers.  so cool.
 This will be difficult... I think there will be times when i will feel every type of pain and rage in my life...i assure you i am way down on that list, already.  And am grateful for my job...a reason...a purpose...a distraction.  and i am grateful for the prayers and good thoughts you've sent me.  it's very strange to be on the receiving end.  but i thank you.
and now - to work...