Sunday, May 09, 2010
Happy mother's day! no matter if you're a mom to a 2-legged or a 4-legged. i am grateful that my mom & I have been able to thrash through our nasties and have established a relationship. it isn't necessarily textbook perfect/healthy, but there it is. we have reversed roles to an extent, and we have each accepted our part of the equation. so it's our little thing. yesterday's community-wide garage sale was interesting. this was the first time in 8 years that the weather didn't play nice - with cold rain and 40mph winds. i snagged some UberCool elements for some assemblage pieces, as well as some crib bumpers and flannel blankies for the baby ducklettes and birdlettes cages. now y'all know i don't drink, right? so bearing this in mind, i had a teeny tiny little glass of wine, maybe even just a toodle more at the friday night neighborhood bonfire. but not more than that. all i can say is saturday was not my favorite day for intestinal harmony. following the garage sale-ing and after much napping and water, though, i felt a surge of normalcy. i say surge but i think it was more like a glimmer, but it was equilibrium in a pathetic sense. so i turned my attention to Macy's, and to procuring a blacklight. (2 separate hunting lists). Macy's. wow. i haven't shopped for clothes in way too long, and was so tired of the black pants/brown pants odd/even day trade. and it's spring (although there is snow falling outside my window. yes snow. i can't even talk about it right now). all those fresh inspiring colors...lettuce-y greens, corals, pinks, buttery yellows. and i bought them all. sorry. my fashionista has been cooped up way too long, and although my sense of style was nowhere to be found, i figured if i wore colors that made me smile, then that would compensate for any faux pas i may be rocking. still looking for pants that fit, but that may be less the fault of designers and more the blame of Doritos. i am at peace with my butt. and double chin. and whatever other melting, sagging, enlarging areas of my body make those pencil thin pants and cropped tops look not-so-much on me. this body has been kind enough to carry me through whatever adventure the mind has thought up for us...the least i can do is be grateful to it and respect it and honor it. and i did just that at Macy's. there was a lot of respect. 2 bags full of honor and gratitude. and since husband was wandering the mall, there was no hiding it. we have moved into a really cool groove...spurred on by trips to the family counselor, all 4 adults in this extended family are claiming back their authority and their adult-ness, and it really has made a huge difference. we are all heads of our respective households, and there will no longer be children in charge. and that knowledge has given the non-bio adults the breathing space they need. to know that the triangle is no longer there sporting a child at the top of the food chain is very liberating and empowering. and it feels good to know that you will be respected and backed up, rather than made the fall guy. it is a theoretical thing right now, but soon enough will get some actual playing time. i don't feel as though i have to start slinging bricks and mortar up around my heart in anticipation of a coming storm. i am praying that everyone else can stay strong and keep to the plan. if not, then i explore options, but i have a strong sense that a new era has dawned. and it's about time!
at 7:04 AM