post #2 !

yikes! 2 posts in 1 day! well, i've spent the day napping and watching netflix movies, in between runiing to the door with diva dog. her tummy is still ca-razee and she's trying so hard to be a good girl. i just finished watching Beautiful Losers, and thought i might take some time to catch up on some blogs. i have my faves that i check faithfully everyday, and then there are some i check less frequently but look forward to just as much. there's been an almost universal theme of calming, quieting, tucking in. and today i had an Ah Ha moment as I checked here. when i first started blogging in '06-ish, my intent was to just express my feelings about losing Kita. i never thought i'd be writing this long. and i discovered other blogs and journals and friends and people i admired and people i didn't know but felt like friends. and for a while, it seemed that you Had To Be Moving Toward Point B...almost a race to see how fabulous a life you could create from thin air...from wishing and hoping and connecting. and sometimes, i felt like i was running to catch a bus that was going east, when i needed to go west. so i stopped running. and then i felt guilty, almost...like i should WANT to go where the bus was going. and convinced myself that, yes, i can...yes i will. and i watched and read as others went from nothing to successful career in no time flat. i cheered them, but still didn't feel like it was my path, if i was honest with myself. for the past year, i haven't had much of a notion to make art. i fought the fatigue and steadfastly went to the studio every spare moment, till i began to almost resent the time spent there. so i stopped. and felt the relief. and soon began to feel twinkles and twinges of urges to make art. but this whole thing is larger than just making art...it's about the whole Big Beautiful Blogger life. and, as Andrea talks about, comparing & competing. for me, it became inwardly not-so-authentic. and until i read her words today, those thoughts were swimming in a broth, but not gelling. today, i realized that the past few months have been a wonderful gift of stripping away and getting to know myself and my priorities again. and feeling very comfortable with them. i don;t feel that i ever lived falsely...just felt like i should be Doing More. and i may just do that now...time for another netflix! my wish for you: UBU. Linda Please see below...it's important & cool!