snug as a slug

today, i accomplished...nothing! well, almost nothing. Diva had a break-of-dawn vet appointment, then we came home for apologies and pampering with her new toy (and one for kitty too) and some cheese. she promptly hid hers and plays with kitten's. i had high expectations for some art time to work on my new project. we went for a Big Walk through the woods, then i hit the couch and slugged out like it was my job. and i was employee of the month. it is now past 3pm and i haven't showered. and i may not. i am the only 2-legged in the house all week, and tend to revert during those times. i honestly think i could lay on that couch till i became a part of it...cozy comforter pulled up to my nose and staring at the ceiling. after the 3rd consecutive episode of Millionaire Realtors (is it fair? 20-something children closing multi-million $$ deals??) i decided to check the mail. my relaxation had turned to lethargy and was dancing on the edge of that dark precipice, so movement was in order. stuck between the mortgage bill and Joanne Fabric flyers was a lifeline in the form of a note from one of the kindest people i know. her sense of timing is always spot on. so now i'm upright and typing and soon.. *gasp* a shower. i am procrastinating. i am cleaning out my studio - well, i'm PLANNING to clean it out - and am feeling like those people on Hoarders. i went in with a box the other day with the intent of filling it. just one. a medium sized box. and each piece of rusty flotsam i meant to put in the box seemed too precious. i had decided to lighten my load, so to speak. to pick 1 or 2 mediums to concentrate on, and find good homes for the rest of the stuff. but... the anguish. so i dropped the box, turned around and walked out. the truth is, i'm in stagnation mode. maybe the weather, the season, the increased drag on me from increased workload, maybe. but the very thing that usually tethers me is the very thing i have no interest in...art. well, i have interest - i imagine all these incredible projects. i see them complete and hanging on a wall, or on a pedestal, or being worn, depending on the piece. and i'm content with that. although, clearly "contentment" is not what i feel. these imagined pieces are unlike anything i've ever done...filled with the same spirit and soul, but bold and fresh and light-filled, as opposed to the usual dark colors i work with. and it seems that the energy needed to just begin has flown the coop. to just get up the stairs and go to work on them...to burn some nag champa and brew some Tiger tea and bounce in...ppfffftt gone. i've been looking at studio space, and really feel the need for privacy when i work...not being distracted by cats and dogs and guitars and demands and obligations. and i think that may be part of it. sleep has not been a friend lately, with incredibly lucid dreams tiring me. so i think this day of quiet, of being a slug, is good. plenty of room for the mind to roam, after being given the command to work out whatever it is that's causing blockage. so i mentioned the project i'm working on? it's a continuation of the Double Secret Santa project. with a valentine's twist. little gauzy bags filled with candy and a little handmade heart of some sort...stuffed, painted, collaged, whatever. and this time, i'm not putting names on the bags - just dropping them here and there. the first one that was found, was left by the reception desk - the finder thought someone had dropped it. so i started putting tags on them that said "finders keepers" and the buzz has started again. so, the adventure continues. a girl at work is teaching me japanese, one phrase at a time. it will be a very long time before i'm tokyo-ready, but it's fun. and it makes the new employee wonder what she's gotten herself into. i learn a phrase, then teach the other 2 girls in my department. and an office manager in wisconsin is teaching me Czech...he teaches english in croatia, when his Visa is in order. so i'm a bit confused when i answer the phone and hear "mooshy mooshy" instead of "hello" or some form of Blue Arts Language. i need a french instructor now, just for added confusion. i mean, i can't run around France speaking Croatian, can I? i guess Kindness and Integrity are 2 languages that are international though. ok. i promise - time to shower. P.U.! and maybe some Tiger tea. and a little knitting. yeah. knitting. L.