on shopping

hello. my name is Linda. and i'm a shopaholic. a recovering shopaholic. or maybe just a very busy shopaholic who hasn't had time to get to the crappy little mall down the road from where i live, and don't feel like getting mugged in the spanky shiny mall a little further away. and i refuse to get sucked into the vortex of the christmas commotion of Holiday Shopping. however, we got bored with negotiating detente between the kids and the cat & dog and various in-laws and outlaws and people i've never recalled meeting who seemed to know me, and *gasp* went to the mall on saturday (of all days - worse than friday because all the poor bastards like me that had to work friday were there also). i was like a crackhead in a crack shop. i had these credit cards, see, and all this shiny glittery new new new stuff was all neatly folded in color-coded rows like sweaters were red orange yellow green blue violet and black...like they KNEW that would do it to me, and i almost said One Of Each just so i could put them on my shelf that way and just LOOK at them all nicey nice never wear them just look at them and pet them. but. i. resisted. even though despite possibly because they were on sale 40-percent off and i knew just KNEW they'd be 60-percent off soon. god help me. so i sweat and gulped and scrunched up my eyes so it was all a blur of color but nothing distinct jumping out at me clawing at my purse and shrieking BUY ME with the face of Silent Scream but louder begging please take me to a forever home i will make you instantly and foreverly more happy and fulfilled...shoes handbags italian leather (large inhale ahhh) just a yoga breath of what what is that??? i must have it. and i bought. a. little.candle. yes. that's it. i had to have a bag of Something in my hand. and i love this candle. i am completely enthralled by the scent of this candle. i don't ever want it to burn away and be gone, but i have to light it to enjoy it. drats. i will have to buy another one. as a spare. and maybe the room spray too. just in case. but i just bought the candle. and took those 12 steps up the stairs to my studio and lit the little candle of no color and much scent. and thought there's a lot to be said for agoraphobia around now. and reflected on the frenzy that has become holiday tradition...where bad tempers and mannerlessness abound...all in the name of a baby who became a saviour. sweaters and candles and credit card bills. makes my head spin. Happy peaceful holiday y'all. L.