i think (hold your breath) that i may have finally Finally gotten my doctor to listen to me. today was an extended visit with many vials of blood and xrays left behind to be studied by people who know about those things. in 5 days, results...or more tests. i did make it very clear that i do not intend to spend my life in a fog of painkillers, nor will i accept a quality of life that has limited quality. and it was crystal clear to my doctor that either she was on board with this, or i would need copies of my records in a doggie bag to go. right then. and she decided that she was on board. and so off we sail together through the next few months, i suspect. i am not an easy patient...i question everything, i do not take prescribed medicines if i don't think the taking of them will do much more than make me feel like i'm doing Something. i will research and talk and dig and discover on my own, and bring those thoughts to the exam room table. i do not think that doctors are gods (or goddesses), rather i believe they are trained and overworked by a medical insurance system that pays them $35 a vist on a good day, under a good plan. i know they pay millions out in insurance to protect themselves against malpractice lawsuits. i know that they have dollar figures in billables to meet monthly or they are booted from a practice, much like lawyers. i don't care. i demand their best. i demand that they put aside all that crud and focus on me, the patient, just like they went to an expensive school for a very long time to do. i am not a billable. i am a person. and in return, i will not bitch that i sat in a germy waiting room for 45 minutes past my appointment time (unpaid from work) because i know my visit will make your day even further off schedule. and i don't care, honestly. it isn't my system to fix. i am just a patient...just a person who needs that knowledge you bought and paid for. and thankfully, or maybe fearfully, she rose to the occasion. hopefully in 5 days, we will have answers that will send me on my way and you will be able to book a two-fer slot again where my appointment once stood. till then...i am here, i am determined, and i respect you. i chose you. thank you, doc, for coming along. L.