snow n self

so it finally snowed! hopefully i don't sound too excited about it! As i shoveled the heavy boulders of ice left by the plow at the end of my driveway, i turned my mind to other things. in a week, i'll be in Tampa. hopefully no snow. then i began to muse about gifts. to some, the snow was a gift - plow drivers, ski resort owners, little kids trying to earn a buck shoveling (tho none in my sight!). that got me thinking about gifts. how often do i think about "...if i win the lottery..." and daydream about what i'd do with the largesse. it usually starts out very philanthropic, but seems to drift to more me me me after a bit. remember the desperate prayers you've lobbed heavenward? "God, if you just help me pass this test I'll..." fill in the blank. or "if you could make so-and-so my boyfriend, i'll..." fill in that blank. (actually, in retrospect, so-and-so probably WAS the blank!) But no gift comes without work, or cost. even on the simplest level, a small gift given has a tag. my art is a gift given to me - the inspiration coming from who-knows-where and ending up in a harmonic convergence of hands and brain. don't ask me how - it just happens. a common object will suddenly catch my interest, and the possibilities of what it could become start to unfold. a little of this here, a little of that there, and voila....a new old object! same with me. a common object - you see humans everywhere these days. but when was the last time i took time to discover the possibilities of what I could become? or maybe what i HAVE become, but just hadn't noticed. is there a little of this here, where a year ago there was none? maybe a little less of that, and more of this? and who is the artist creating me? my creations are made from rusted metal, wood and fiber, and to my knowledge, don't sit and ponder how a can opener got to be a shrine or goddess-of-this-or-that. i may be getting a little obscure here, but my point is that my art pieces evolve, and i consider each point along the way an amazing work-within-the-work....why shouldn't i look at myself in the same way? and why haven't i taken the time to? when i'm creating a piece, i watch carefully - if this rusty screw or nut doesn't "gel" with the overall feel that i want, then it's removed. if it does, then i glue, staple, wire, or otherwise attach it so it will be there forever. i'm thinking i need to do the same with what i let in to my "self" and what i don't. examine the things that bombard me internally AND from others on a daily basis...thoughts, emotions, moods, opinions, etc. what will i reject? what will i make a part of this creation? this work in progress. from the hand of the Artist comes choices...which ones best fit the final creation? stop. turn your head and look. spend a moment taking care with the most beautiful creation yet. your self. L.