you rock the world

thank goodness for west coast friends...the ones who call at 5am when you're having your 1st or 2nd cup of coffee, and they're just finishing their day...you get up early, they stay up late. we could never be roommates - neither one of us would sleep. but, in those world-quiet moments chatting, i want to get on a plane and be there in person. this morning we chatted about "self improvement." rather, the glut of self-improvement visionaries and books and CD's and DVD's and retreats and workshops...you get the point. and the theme that ran through our conversation was that it wasn't really "improvement." it was non-acceptance. or insecurity. or shame. but that a person is created, and has life experiences, to be the very person they are. That the person they are has a profound mission or place in the world: to be themselves. Much like a recipe, if it calls for cilantro, you simply cannot substitute cinnamon. and if a person is continually wanting to be more like someone else, then their unique place in the world is not being fulfilled. i guess this is a running theme of conversations between us. neither of us can fathom why a person wants to act like someone else, when it's so much easier and fulfilling to be who they really are. so to buy into a self-improvement mindset is to reject the gift that is you. we agreed that self-awareness, and self-growth, and self-acceptance, etc, were all good things to chase, but not at the expense of losing that first word: self. I know tons of artists that i admire, and that are far more skilled than i. do i want to learn from their techniques? try to stop me! but do i want my art to look just like theirs? no. no matter how bad the result of a day at my studio produces, to do anything less than have my own personal conversation with the canvas or rusty metal or fragrant beeswax would be cheating myself and would be pointless. there already IS one of them...there needs to be one of me. you may admire certain traits in another person, but is your heart calling you to reach higher towards your expression of those traits, or is it self-deception covering self-hatred? (maybe hatred is too strong a word, but you know what i mean.) and so we continued our chat - one idea spawning another, til it became light here and darker there (or maybe it became lighter there by this time!) and we finally said our goodbyes for the day. i picked up the brushes and paints and wood icing and sandpaper, and began to work with new colors inspired by someone near and dear to me. the composition is my own - the colors began as one of their palettes. and doggone it, if it didn't end up with my own swerve to it. Later, as i took a break, i kanoodled around the world wide web and found this on The Roots Of She: Buckminster Fuller : Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes in the world come about. So be that person. ditto. wishing you each a day uniquely your own.....