my goal: to take a workshop with this incredible artist, Daniella Woolf There's been a lot of shaking and moving in the studio the past few days...mostly inner work...as I get down & dirty with art supplies, I've been listening to Jen Lee's CD's "The Iconic Self." I suppose I thought "Well let's see what this is about, but I doubt there's anything new-to-my-old-soul on it." ok, who was wrong? anyone? Buehler? it is a lovely, delicate, strong, matter-of-fact-but-loaded-gun work that (when i least expect it) touches something in me. She recorded this along with Phyllis Mathis, and it will be going along tra-la-la-interesting anecdote-gentle gentle, then WHAT DID YOU SAY??? bam. a truth hits home. and i realize that you never really stop learning...there isn't ever a point where you have it all figured out. i always thought there was a time in your life where you'd sit back and say "*deep exhale* whew. glad that's done! I now have it all figured out, so i can spend the rest of my life nodding sagely & knowingly at everyone else." because i've been blessed with a stream of strong women in my life (many blessings upon you Penny) who have just seemed so in control of themselves, and have lived the life i aspire to, i misled myself into thinking that they had it all together. they didn't, but that doesn't make them any less strong, wonderful, vulnerable, role model material, beautiful, giving, kind...you get the idea. they still had their challenges, for sure. they just dealt with them with confidence and grace. they picked a direction and moved forward, trusting that they would handle any unintended excitement along the way. One such woman shocked SHOCKED everyone by announcing she was divorcing her husband of 23 years. she had waited until the last of her kids was out of high school and off to college, then moved on with her life on her terms. no one ever knew she was that unhappy in her marriage until that day. she had made a choice to not disrupt her kids' life, and went about her days in grace and happiness, for it was her choice to do so. then, she packed her bathing suit, some family pictures, her Amex card, and moved to a more tropical locale. just like that. i haven't seen her in many years (she was the mother of my ex-boyfriend) but her daily examples of how to live a gracious life took root in me...if a family was struggling, she would anonymously get help to them...when her kids were enrolled in a dance class, and another family was falling behind on their tuition, she quietly paid it, and bought new dance gear for their kids. she raised her kids in generosity of spirit and gentleness in their dealings with Any Other People. i remember her kindnesses to me at a time of great difficulty in my life...her giving was much more than financial. i was considered a part of the family...just sort of folded in to the loud, fantastic, world that was their family. I'm not sure why i'm off on this tangent, but there you have it. today, i will be more gracious. today i will be more kind. today i will ask myself, "What Would Penny Do?"