deeper, clearer

this year has just started off with a bang, i tell you...clearly 2012 is not going to be a shy one. right out of the gate, things Happened...good things, bad things, but Things all the same...and they just haven't stopped. now i know what all that rest was needed for at the end of last year! last week, i spent Two Full Days vacuuming, dusting, purging, rearranging and otherwise reconstructing 2 closets upstairs...i went at it with the fanatical energy of a traveling preacher chasing sin down. and i'm pleased to report that i can now breathe/sleep in my own bedroom again. thusly inspired, i did a While you were out" type redecoration of the bedroom. husband had begged me to promise never to redo anything without him Ever Again following an ill-fated attempt to paint the kitchen red Red RED with Perfect Stepdaughter. but that was years ago, and i crossed my fingers when i sheepishly nodded my head affirmative. so it didn't count, right? but. but the room was so sparkly clean, but so taupe and dreary. and this caught my heart, and, well, you know the rest. yes i did. and i did warn husband before he got home...sent him a text picture. then made his favorite dinner. he really likes it. the room. so inspired, i continued on - a Big Boy night stand for him (replacing the rickety telephone stand he's been using - crammed with alarm clock and a coalminer-type headlamp he insists on using to read at night), and a pair of antique lamps i found at a garage sale - gorjus cut glass base - got new shades and wowa! our old headboard didn't fit in the new bedroom when we moved into this house - it being a 4-poster huge tall thing, and the wall slants in like a cape cod-ish style. (i am laughing my pants off here because autocorrect changed that to "codfish!") we never got around to getting a new headboard, and since it may be a while yet, i bought some "Wall Words" rub ons that say "Always kiss me goodnight" to put on the wall. i may never leave this room. i'll need a pretty good reason why. but that's all good. mom & i are in tense mode, having spoken some truths yesterday that cut through quite a lot of smoke & mirrors, we have gone to our seperate corners to get stitched up and sent back into the ring. it seems that a lot of things are being laid bare in many areas of my life, and in the lives of friends. strange times, for certain. black and white with no gray...and the lines clearly drawn between what is acceptable and what is not... piles of useless or unused stuff laying around in corners of the house, and corners of the heart...no longer waiting patiently to be cleared, but revealing themselves and demanding action be taken. i have cleaned every nook of this physical house throughout the past few weeks - not setting out to, but one thing leads to another, it seems. and so it begins with the heart, as well. the year has whipped up a vortex of demands that corners be swept - sooner rather than later - and everything be set right and proper in it's place...no room for the unnecessary, travel with lightness, leaving space for the brilliance of sudden sunlight to blaze through...change, for certain, has begun. and with the dawn of the new year, i believe that this dusting, polishing, organizing, will reveal quite a lot...will show many things for what they truly are...treasures some, others not. i've gone deeper in my daily meditations...listening...asking...watching...for i don't want to misstep or overcorrect, yet want to keep pace with the broom. thoughtful times. wishing you richness...