Thursday, April 02, 2009
the verdict: well, remember when there was a huge recall on contact lens solution because it was tainted and people were going blind? i thought "how lucky I'm wearing glasses for a while!" and went about life. well i finally got around to re-upping my prescription, got my contacts, and had this huge bottle of contact solution from before, so used it. der. you know the rest. someone has replaced my left eye with a fireball candy. oh so attractive, and feels absolutely brilliant....sort of like opening your eyes in a tanning booth. for 5 minutes. i would imagine, since that's one faux pas i've yet to commit. so i have drops and will likely make a full recovery. new topic. i feel out-of-the-loop. and not to drag last year around like a woobie, but last year was so very....everything. i quit smoking, i found my inner center, my spiritual place, and actually anchored it...my art - although not prolific as in the past - was special and meaningful, and had begun to speak to me again...i felt like every salad dressing commercial - very hip, very knowing, very Carole King. as these days drag by, i feel more left- brained or no-brained. very forgetful. very, well, empty. where things of wonder found me last year, i now find that i have to go looking for them. i seem to find them, but that quiet, gentle whisper of certainty...that almost clairvoyance with nature - not as evident unless i spend time waiting and searching. perhaps that's the lesson for this year....stop. look. listen. funny how it all comes back to the playground. and as my days become filled with work/sleep/work, i think i may miss my dedicated art time like a best friend at the end of summer camp. i've been trying to finish a quilt for a very special person since Last Year, and sheesh. last year i felt full and able...i felt like a nuturer. now, i just want my Girl Posse to hold me up and say nice things and remind me that things are not lost if someone remembers them. maybe i'm just tired. maybe i need a break. maybe as i suspect, Change is coming, things are shifting tectonically. maybe. but you know, right now i'm exhausted and feel a pointless ramble coming on, so night y'all. L.
at 10:03 PM