I was taunted and challenged by a friend to pick a time to set aside for sacred art time. trying to get back into my usual rhythm of life, i picked saturday morning 6am-8am. friday night, i set my alarm for 5:59 and pulled the covers up. somewhere around 2-3am, my hillbilly husband came in from some sort of ugly fish fishing adventure with his ManPal, and decided to watch some TV before falling asleep. i reset my alarm for 7am, figuring at least i'd get an hour in the studio, but would definitely need the extra hour of sleep. do ya see what's happening here? okay, so wait...still more. i felt guilty about the alarm clock thing, but figured my friend is in Japan and would Never Know. what i didn't know was, she had been in touch with diva by some sort of radar and at 5:45am, diva began nudging me in an urgent way. the minute i got up to let her use her potty, she snuggled onto my pillow, and i swear she gave me The Paw and said "go to your studio." so i did. and began work on the project i had dutifully mapped out the past couple nights. well, i say began. i began trying to work with the paperclay, but hated it for the job i needed it to do. so before i got frustrated and desperate, i sat down with a pencil and paper and began to write. and write. and write. i won't bore you with the details, but it was good. you see, i have a book i've been trying to read called Creative Awakenings. every time i even look at it, i get choked up. and if you notice, a few recent smarmy posts about people throwing themselves off the ledge hoping the universe will catch them? well, short answer: sour grapes. fear. that sort of stuff. so this book has scared me more than Monster Movie Matinee used to. the challenge of it all. and although i am quite certain in my soul and toes that i do not want to be a fulltime artist for the right reasons, there has been another Thing in my heart of hearts for so many years. and THAT is what has been hiding behind the word "art" in all the "leap for the stars" messages to me. yes...i am an artist. yes, i do believe i am a good one. but i feel my (forgive me for using this word...) Journey is another one. not to leave art by the side, but to begin to Live The Dream. i was in tears by the time i was done. it was a relief to know what the lurker had been in heart all this time. i will post more about that later. i'm still working on my CrowWoman, and getting tired! diva had a mixed review at her vet appt today ...she was very very good and didn't bite the vet, which surprised me...the vet doesn't know her well yet and just took it for granted that i would have warned her if there was danger. i thought i'd see how long she could go (diva) before the strain of being good gave out. she even had a spa day in the back without incident. she does have 2 tumors though. rather large. 1 is a fatty tumor which is no big deal to remove. the other...we won't know until surgery day exactly what it is. so a full day all around. thank you for being on this journey with me, y'all. now happy Easter, or Mazel Tov, or whatever you may celebrate....L.