survivorwoman...the series

so i have a new idea for a TV series...since "reality" shows are all the rage...take an average, normal, reasonable woman and put her in oh, say, a family holiday situation. make sure the in-laws are coming/not coming/coming after all/coming after all with guests. be sure to give her a fabulous roast to cook - 1/2 her grocery budget roast. but the roast is only big enough to feed the original invitees, which didn't include the in-laws in the first place. what fun! it'll be a hit, in much the same way Thelma & Louise remains, to this day, a classic. it'll be a hoot....a nutty classic! sponsored by Lunesta and Prozac. aaaaanyway. the kids got me a 360-degree swivel vise that suctions on to any flat surface! a Craftsman, no less! and our invisible maid, Consuela, gave me a set of Fiestaware measuring bowls! i love the hell out of them. i am so easy to please. and amuse. i had insisted that my surprise birthday party be my christmas gift from the husband this year. so my friend, RaeLynn, from Houston is hysterical. i keep telling her to get a blog going, but she'd have to hire someone to do it for her. just keeping up with the Society goings-on is a full time job for her. there is not enough pink, frothy fru fru in the world for RaeL. and when she gets "her mad on" about something or someone, best be hitting the door. fast. her annual holiday call..."honey, i am just not sure i can take much more this year..." started off pretty much the same as always. her dream is to be featured in the "Big Hair" edition of Texas Monthly magazine. her husband says he can tell just how angry she is by how big her hair gets. she swears that this year she will need extensions in order to reach the height needed to express her inner rage. it's her way of not knitting her brows together creating an unsightly wrinkle that will further "just doodle up" her schedule by needing a trip to "Dr. Botox." blow drying is her form of meditation, and it sometimes takes a while to reach that inner place that says it's okay to breathe again. we compare in-law stories, and it is beyond her comprehension why i don't just lock the door and let "the help" screen out uninviteds. explaining that I AM the only "help" and that locking the door just doesn't seem like being in the spirit of the holiday, well, it's just a waste of time. she lives differently than most. my most...not her most. how we stay friends is beyond me. nothing in common. not in the same social circle. (hell, my social circle is more like a mobius strip.....the same few people that will put up with me!). and, of course, i hate pink. and especially pink fru fru. i must be her touchstone for how incredibly ordinary things could really become if she doesn't just find a way to cope with all those boring, maddening dinners and events, etc. she certainly is my touchstone, my peek into what happens when excess rules. but she has a heart of titanium, like her AmEx, and is sensitive to truly helping others. and quietly. you will never know when she's greased a wheel, or written a check to help out. it's not about RaeL. at least at those times. so i'm procrasting again...i haven't worked on any art in over a month. i just gessoed a box i want to work on, but that takes, like, 1 second to dry. i can't help but once again be amazed by, and envious of, Gail who calls frequently now....she not only STARTS things, but she FINISHES them...and lots of them. constantly. and works. she must be like Samantha on Bewitched. so my new years resolution? (my new year starts friday).... live life gently but on my terms. take no crap and take no prisoners. neither, make others unhappy with their choices. but don't live by others' choices. that should be enough! oh...and learn how to latin dance. so what's your resolution? share share! L.