ooo-ooo that smell

first, a diva update: 2 days and no poo. even at the p-a-r-k, where we carry her at night, just hoping she will - in the words of my neighbor - drop a deuce. no luck. however, she did manage to vomit all over the quilt Bill's grandma made him. she kept trying to point it out to me so i could make it all gone before she got in trouble. amazing...2 grown men who were charged with watching her like a federal witness never noticed it. one of these "men" has been standing in front of the TV next to the quilt ALL DAY for 3 days with a plastic guitar in his hand playing some video game thing where you have to keep up with the video guitar player. nice. it was inches from his feet and he never saw the event. oy. she is getting to the spunky stage where she needs even more careful watching...eyeing the couch like a kid drooling through a bakery window. and tonight i opened the gate at the top of the stairs, leaned down to pick her up, and WHOOSH! she was gone...bounding down the stairs. i almost plotzed. of course it could only have happened to me...my husband has filed that away like an IOU marker in case Something happens on HIS watch. double oy with a side of lox. okay, now back to other stuff. apparently Thanksgiving dinner was soo very entertaining to my cubbyfarm mates that they were squealing in glee to hear how christmas went. today was my 1st day back. even my boss' boss commented that she wanted to come to my house next year. i told her next year "my house" would, indeed, be "MY house," and it would be a quieter, gentler holiday season. y'all need to concentrate REAL REAL hard....i bought lotto tickets for fri (my birthday) and sat. this is the last chance for the Universe to prove the law of attraction a/k/a The Secret theory. no lotto win, then bushwack to the theory. that's my theory. and if i win, i will share with all who post or email me that they promise promise to concentrate. that way it will prove that YOU TOO will be proving your own law of attraction. see how neat and tidy that is? i am currently filled to exploding with spaghetti & meatballs, and don't feel very much like writing any more tonight. in fact, my knees are the size of a Beluga whale head, due to inactivity. just sitting and staring at the dog. i need to power walk or something. maybe just buy larger knee socks. i'm terrified that i'll become this gi-normous caricture of myself that no one will recognize. of course, then i think of my friend from 911 who works out 2 times a day and only has lettuce in her fridge and gets nervous when you invite her somewhere food related. not a bad day today - only 2 people hung up on me, and they were people that i wanted to hang up on anyway. 2 people were exceptionally nice, to the point that they restored my faith in the inherent goodness of people who become so frustrated that they abuse and swear and the hapless customer service person who draws the short karmic straw and answers the phone to their verbal vomit. one of these 2 actually called back demanding MY supervisor. he wanted to say that although he "thought the company and all the medical so-called professionals involved in it sucked the big salami," he thought i was "the best thing that ever happened to them and i should get a raise." now isn't that a heart-warmer? ahh the spirit of Christmas afterglow. so tomorrow is my big 5-0, and i couldn't be happier! i can't decide if i'm going to end up living in the southwest in an adobe house, not shaving my legs, having long grey braids (on my head) with feathers and bits in it and wearing only Blue Fish clothing, or if i'll be one of those women who finally get to dress the way they wanted to in the 70's & 80's.....above-the-knee suede boots (i own some) with tights and a long sweater and a big honkin' canadian hockey player/ lesbian mullet. it wavers. for now, i'll stay disguised as a part time stepmom who can only fit into Bill Blass jeans and tells stories about the glory days of the 60's and 80's to the kids. well, i'm getting that carbo-nod on, and i smell poo somewhere in my studio, so i better go. see ya on the other side of the hill! L.