my Lake!

my wednesday date with mom was absolutely perfect! after 2 weeks of threatened rain, we decided to throw caution to the wind and go anyway. 8am, we drove to the double-secret-secluded spot and set up our chairs on the Lake's edge. just 1 small patch of sand to share. it was perfect. as the waves teased in to the shore, our chairs sunk lower and lower, but we didn't notice, or care. pantlegs rolled up, shoes and socks thrown behind us, gulls screeching above, we closed our eyes and just breathed the moment into our souls. i had bought a disposable camera weeks ago with the intention of capturing our wednesdays together, but have found that it would do them a disservice. how do you record such memories? how would it be possible to capture such spirit on mere film? to look back at the pictures would surely diminish the memories woven into our hearts with golden thread. it's been 50 years since the umbilical cord was cut, but the same tie remains - each giving and taking life from one another...understandings and shared stories strengthening and aligning...ah ha - that's where my gypsy spirit comes from...maybe some art from this one or sensitivity from that one or a quick temper with those who impede. but all that aside, to be able to freely love the one who gave me life is unexplainable gift. it's funny - no earth-shattering conversations take place...no confronting the past or judging the present. it's as if we were both finally ready to simply accept the other as they were...the parts we liked, the parts that annoyed us, the parts we wished would changed. all one. part of the same gift. we talk of nothing, or talk of family history - the way back history. not our history together, so much. that had periods of such pain and confusion and bad behavior. there was a choice: confront and have a tearful, emotional coming to terms, or simply silently forgive and move on - enjoy the time that's left. i chose to move on. to re-visit the past would serve no purpose now. 30 years too late for that. and really, who cares anymore? has nothing significant happened in either of lives since then? we talk of positive things and feelings about ourselves and our lives and goals and wishes and dreams. we talk of nothing. and everything. as the waves lap at our feet, calming, pulling at us to be more than we are...leave the sand on the beach, the crumbs to the gulls, adventure out of ourselves and be more. reach higher. expect more. give more. yes - take more. the sun rose high and strong above us, and we shook the sand from rolled pantlegs and rinsed between our toes. packing up was much slower than unpacking. we walked in silence, heavily laden with heart-shaped rocks and smooth stones from the shore. the drive home, too quick. more hugs at the driveway than i remember in the past 30 years. making up time. our silent promises to each other. gifts of cards hidden in purses to be found by the other later in the day. a plan to return next week. to let the waves cleanse our minds and souls and baptise us in the spirit of one another...mother and child...mother and daughter...a daughter's daughter grown with a daughter of her own - wishing she had had these times with her own mother. friends. at last, friends.