Did I mention that I am wont to change my mind with the spin of a hat? Did I mention that sometimes I need this space like I need a companion? No? I must have forgotten to mention that. In the exhaustion that was last year, I was probably thinking "oh, one less thing." Which it was. But the wrong thing to let go of. I can think of at least 6 other things that should make the cut before this.
And so, where were we? Oh right. But first - happy new year to you! I hope it's started out well. I know of no less than a few who have spent new year's first days saying goodbye to beloveds...in one way or another. This has been such a strange few weeks. In a gentle and unobtrusive way, Big Thoughts have crept into my craw and started a ramble...like the tumbling of semi-precious stones in a dime store rock polisher...old thoughts, new thoughts, half-formed thoughts all rolling around to be ground down to smooth edges, or polished fine as fire.
Old thoughts: I have a deep dark secret confession to make. I have always felt a little Less Than because I didn't finish my degree. Well, sort of didn't. I have an AAS, but never continued on to a Masters degree like I had wanted. It seems there has always been someone under my care since my dad passed away in 1977, and there was either no time, or no money to carve out the task. My ideas and interests have gone all around the board, so when I did have the time and money at the same time, indecision was my enemy. In conversation with a friend recently, it was pointed out that I had started 2 companies from thin air, run them successfully, then moved on of my own decision. I had taught myself marketing, copywriting, business plan making, built my own website, and on & on. With instinct. And no degree. Yes but...
So why does the piece of paper mean so much to me? And is it the paper, or the title, or the actual education that I am wishing for? I think at this stage of my life, I crave learning. And there are some gaps I need to fill in order to be successful in the time ahead. My original plan was to get certified as a medical coder - a good plan...a portable career, and one I could do from a home office as a solo subcontractor. I watched and listened as my coworker studied and tested and wrote papers and went through the past 2 years of the course. I began saving and began a GoFundMe campaign. I can see that it will be a while before that plan takes root, and in the meantime, I needed to have something to keep myself busy & engaged with the outside world. So I started YourGreatSpace, an organization business. I love seeing the difference a clear and workable space makes in people's lives. It has been an exhausting few weeks as I got kicked by a bug and laid low. The holidays took over. Now...now it is time to grab morning by the biscuits and get a groove on. Now it's time to start the promotion and marketing. I'm exhausted with the thought of it, but thrilled and grateful for the opportunity. My goals for the year are simple:
I want this year to kick the ass of the best year I've ever had. I want this year to end with a slide into home plate, hair on fire and a huge grin, saying what the hell! It was great! I want 2016 to be the best of all bests...not a year to sit limply by and make gentle excuses for whatever...I want it to be a damn screaming Mimi of a year with fun and giving and philanthropy and good friends and travel and at least one good solid companion. Male or female. A companion to share this about-to-be even more fabulous life with...not romantic- just someone to look at and say Did You See THAT??? I have spent too many years being gentle with myself and sitting quietly and tiptoeing around others. I want this to be the year of bold progress and letting go and giving up and grabbing the good greatness of YES. Damn skippy.
And so, I am back here. Randomly, no doubt. But I have a feeling somewhat often, as the tumblers tumble, and a great polished gem or two spits out.