a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.


Sunday, December 14, 2014

You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” -A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
‘Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.’ Alan Cohen

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” -Joseph Campbell

What a beautiful evening with my dear friend…she is brave and strong and has dealt with much more in her life than a person should have too, plus she built her own log house.  And then gave it to her husband, just to be free of him.  and she did it all without a whimper or whine…with such grace and self-assurance.  to lose your home, have to start over with 2 young kids, leave your beloved dogs behind, and face one of the scariest health diagnosis a woman can face…all. at. once.  It never fully registered with me that she was swimming through the poop, and for that i have deep regret.  it's just that she chose the high road…she chose to just put one foot in front of the other and trust that the ground would be there.  I can only hope to have half of her strength and grace.  i suspect i will fall short, but tonight, just being with her, let some sparks loose again.  and when she was leaving, and said " it will be good to see Linda appear again,"  well, i was just about destroyed.  she is amazing.  i am grateful for her, along with the Pat Patty Patricia Trish's.  All these amazing women have been put in a circle around me…Ellen, Kim, Joey, Tracy, Chris, Denise (betcha didn't guess!), Kelleygirl, Mary Poof Ellen,  Georgette ...and that's just this weekend…more are in the circle.  i think it's so so important to circle the ones we love - and not just in an imaginary, mystical circle…but if possible in person…be it a coffee hour, or crochet, or just a time set aside to go for a walk together - imagine a group of strong women walking down the road together!  an army!  women don't always reach out.  we are supposed to be the caretakers and the organizers and the life-fixers.  but when we need care taken with our own selves, it seems selfish or weak to ask, sometimes.  or we make a joke of it.  or we feel like we've bitched enough about whatever the topic is.  But it takes many false starts, sometimes, before the leap…trying out the idea out loud.  women are wired to gather…to gain strength from the group…to find like-minded souls and hearts.  i've never ever understood jealousy of one another.  i've never understood drama between women.  we need one another to survive…to make it through…to learn and grow strong and happy…to look into the mirror and see each other.  i cannot find words to express to you how deeply deeply grateful i am to have these women surrounding me with a shield against myself…to lead, and not let me get too far off course, while allowing me to choose my steps and the pace.  i will find a word, somehow, in some language to express this.  or i will make one up.  and to say "thank you" is so very understated, but please accept it for now.  and as you hold me, i hold others, as well.  so, do you see how we're all one family?

from my sister-in-law:  Hey I hear the divorce is real now! Congratulations! How wonderful to go into 2015 knowing that this thing you have wanted for so long is finally coming to pass! I wish you all the best on your new adventure!
Now, how can a person not whip their head around and say Booyah on that one?  I smile when I think of this note.  She is amazing.

Tomorrow, you just have to meet my Rockinest friend!  

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