There's magic in that name, I guess. I've spent part of this morning pinging between texts from one Patricia to emails from another. And each one, in their own way, has taken this battered heart that Thinks It Can, It Thinks It Can and lifted it up to full steam. Having spent the last So Much Time spinning on every cylinder and moving at the speed of light toward my destiny with joyous wonderment...to get tripped up by my husband's divorce news has been a double blow. If I wasn't feeling so much Goodness before, there would be less to lose. Heart wise. This whole event is such a mind spinner...one one hand, I am brought to the ground with the timing of his announcement. Am I the first & only woman who's experienced this cruelty? Not a chance, unfortunately. I stand, and stand firm, and even smile at the opening made for me to continue on a journey that will look wholeheartedly mine. Wholehearted was my "word" for 2014, I just remembered. Hmmm. Yet in the same instant, I am terrified. Cold sweat freaking out. So I am trying to keep it together and trying to figure this out. I am even more grateful for the friends that hold my heart when I can't, because it's difficult to find the words for what my soul needs. It has everything it needs...I just moved it to a foreign country with a language I don't speak. And sadly, I see some friends pulling away. It is not my intention to be an emotional or time suck. I know there will be moments when I just need to hear a friendly voice talking about mundane things. Just to have a normal touchstone space in my day/week/whatever.
But this morning, pinged between my queen, and the queen bee, text and email, I realized that the journey is mine alone, but the path has been made smooth by those who have gone before me. I need only follow their grace and courage, and I'll be just fine in the end. If I'm not fine, it isn't yet the end! Thank you, Pat Patty Patricia Trish, for allowing your joy and grace and struggles and Keeping On spirits to ooze out into the world to blaze the trail...thank you for not hiding the difficult bits, but most importantly - for showing me the power & the getting through. I am grateful, so grateful, for you both.