If you managed to get through my last post without slitting your own wrists, i applaud you. i am leaving it there for my own future reference on just how pathetic a pity party can be. well, to be fair - more of a panic party. and i really wanted to have that tree lit and festive. but it isn't and it won't so Move On.
i do have choices in life, and when i finally got out of my own way this morning, i realized it was time to make some choices…as Henry's tiny little paw reached out and touched my cheek…as kitty curled around my left foot…as i snuggled so tightly under the hand-made quilt…i released i had choices…they were all mostly ugly, but some less ugly and that's a blessing…so with renewed vigor, i continued the process of dismantling my studio upstairs - loosening up and re-homing Every Single Thing that doesn't justify it's space…am i passionate about it any longer - no? then it must go. on so many levels. i spent the weekend (between crying jags) helping a dear friend begin the process of reorganizing her studio, and consolidating her home studio into her Big Girl Studio that she shares with her brother. Her house has no room to be a home…it's all floor to ceiling studio stuff…i mean this literally…i felt claustrophobic and overwhelmed, so i can't imagine how she & her brand new husband feel on a daily basis - just 1 room not filled. and i saw myself. with all the issues/choices floor to ceiling swirling around me. and grabbed a mental box and started stuffing it to kick it to the curb. if you asked, i'd say that Right Now i feel good - sad but determined. and i'll take that. balance. today's email had this in it, reminding me to see beyond what looks like poop:
Some things don't sound like they look.
Others don't look like they sound.
There are friends who don't act like friends.
And enemies who'd never dream of hurting anyone.
But, Linda, do you know what the strangest thing about time and space is?
Your thoughts will never betray you. They will strive to become things. You can change your circumstances on a dime. And where you've been, has no bearing on where you can still go.