a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.


Thursday, October 16, 2014

"The struggle ends when the gratitude begins."
 - Neale Donald Walsch

I had a dream last night that was so good!  I struggled to remember every second of it, and despite having pen & paper by my bed, it was not meant to be.  pfft.  vapor.  but one image remained with me…opening The Big Box of crayons and thinking, "these are like my friends…each one different, yet each one amazing."  crazy, hunh? i remember just that.  and the feeling of gratitude that swelled.  all day i smiled as i thought about my periwinkle and navy blue and crimson and burnt sienna friends…actually my real friends in those colors - not the crayons.  i know, confusing.  but it was such a great way to wake up.  and i realized as i walked through the woods, that i have the ability to make each day wonderful.  no - not by magic or secret potion.  but by conjuring. no matter how bad the day is - even full on crap - at some point, you can make it better, or even fantastic, just by the turn of an attitude, or by sheer force of will.  now - before you start spitting at me, let me say that i know there are those close to me who are suffering some unthinkable medical and emotional stuff.  i am not Pollyanna and i am not suggesting that if you slap a smile on, then it's all so much better.  i'm saying that i have discovered that i have been wont to say "i woke up in a bad mood, so the day is crap."  Then living the day true to the prediction. Bringing the prophecy to light. Rather than noting that i feel that the day will be crap, but then changing it by taking some action to change it.  something like, walking in the woods expressly to find The Most Beautiful leaf, or by smiling hard and fake until i squeeze out an endorphin.  or by listing every single way the day is crap, and will stay crap, and may even get worse.  i sit with pencil and paper and a mug of coffee making a list.  it'll only go one of two ways.  and the power of the tilt lies in my hands.  it may not end up Scooby Doo fantastic whistle while you work, but it may just keep your toes on the upright side of the line.  and some days, that's enough and plenty.  and some days, i demand more.  so i had a long and elegant point, but now i'm exhausted - it's getting late and i have a long day tomorrow that includes a hockey game after work (!) thanks to my brother.  so the long & elegant point will have to wait.  but know that you are in control, even just a little bit sometimes, but enough most times.  and you are my favorite shade of grateful.

**ps:  I have too much of almost everything.  If you would like some assemblage materials or jewelry supplies, please email or comment.  they are not for sale.  they are a gift to you.

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