moving forward, standing still

this past week has been a rummage sale of emotions and activities...from realizing that i had all the support in the world for my new business, to realizing that i really, truly did have a new business...from reaching out to the world and getting favorable response, to reaching closer to home and not. it's hard to realize that someone you most want to share your excitement with, who has been with you in the 3-legged race of this crazy life, has actually been standing close in order to catch the action if you fell...rather than to catch you if you fell. i say "watch this, then." and off i trot. this has been a birth and development not unlike the babes that hatched in a Burning Bush by the corner of my house...cracking through the egg for all they're worth, and taking in big gulps of air...then being spoon-fed till pin feathers and flight feathers developed...then - flight time! and to watch the skies in mid-summer is a treat indeed. mother birds teach their young to fly by teasing them out of the nest with food - after they're good & hungry. a little higher at a time, till they reach their goal. notice i said their goal. momma has more in mind. once sated, they realize they have to make it back to the safety & comfort of the nest. on their own wing power. you can hear the cries and squawking for some distance. momma lets them fuss till they begin the flight, then circles near them. if they panic and start to lose altitude, she'll swoop under them and let them ride a while, then tilt them off to go again. and again. till they make it on their own. when i began this journey, i was under the protection of Grace, and remained so for weeks. then felt one day that it was time to check out those flight feathers, knowing there would be Protection, but feeling some panic all the same. there were so many tests and challenges that came all at once, making it hard to breathe at times, and often doubting if i was fit to fly. but i decided that before i hit the ground, i would flap for all i was worth. and today i felt the back of my Protector under my feet once again. for respite and regrouping for the rest of the flight, knowing i will soon be flapping my wings again, but with more strength and gracefulness this time. i knew today, this cycle would be repeated over and over, even when flight comes effortlessly. and i knew today the strength that can come when many trusted hearts join. i watched today, as the geese began grouping up at the lake by my woods...honking and ranking and deciding who would fit where in their formation to head south. there's still much more time to enjoy them here, but they prepare early. and i realized how they are so much like us...traveling together, yet reaching the destination to our our space within the group...how one would never make the journey alone - that it takes the cooperation of many. today, i stood still under the cedars, breathing in cool air - dry for the first time in a while - smelling the mulchy smell of the ground and the last perfume of the flowers...and in the stillness that held my heart and thoughts and spirit, came the gratitude for the Lessons...gratitude for the opportunities...gratitude for the successes...gratitude for doors that had opened, and doors that had closed...for realizations and knowledge that had come and for being blinded to things that may have hurt too badly, had i seen them. i was grateful for the abundance i have...nothing you could count in a shiny stack of coins, but the other forms of currency - the ones that matter so much more. i am grateful for you, who are reading this, that you care enough to check in. i wish you good flight.