we knew these days were coming...the mid-term exams, so to speak...the days when every second wasn't sprinkled liberally with twinkledust and no harps & violins greeted the day and Cinderella-like moments with birds and seamstress mice consorting and frolicking about and tiaras and just plain other-worldliness surrounded every fiber of every cell of every part of my being. (do cells have fibers?) (oh - i do still have the tiara). this has been a week of *New!* *improved!* web browsers that are so stinking bad, i had to figure out By Myself how to purge it from my life, while saving my settings & bookmarks, and return to the older, unimproved and waaaay better one. and i did. this was a week where my body said "whoa doggy!" in a way that meant business. and i listened to it. and rested. and returned to center. this was a week of old issues raising their ugly, nasty heads and coming to life once again. and the choice was mine on how to react. and i'm proud to say, i took the path less traveled by my usual shock-and-awe, knee-jerk reactive self. and i slept peacefully. this week, with all it's testing, did not break me. in fact, i'm pleased to say that the time of grace that swirled around me must have found a crevice and has lodged within my heart. for the most part. there is a Very Testing day ahead, but i think i can handle it with little damage. i think. i will try anyway. and i learned that feeling centered and balanced and all manner of glitterfied is not necessarily about eating vegetarian and wearing birkenstocks with black socks and not shaving my armpits. (although...) It's more about choices. choices that i make about how I will react to any given situation. and more than react, it's about how i will allow my heart & mind & body to perceive the situation and deal with it in that manner. it's about gaining control of my own perceptions. and i wish there was a Cesar Milan Perception Whisperer. and i think perception, in part, is based upon the end result...history upon history of result. since i always feel -
felt - that it was up to me to make things right, to take command of a disaster and make it all sparkly again, then my reactions to a situation became based on the fact that i would be the one with the broom at the end of the parade. and since i had claimed that role for myself (whether by choice, or by habit), those around me let me live it. i have a lot of experience is disaster cleanup. and that speaks to my bad choices in those i allowed closest to me. i'm pleased to say that i've put down the broom. i will help clean up, but only to the boundary that feels right. and i have realized just how much i've taken on to corral into a circle called "mine." if you're the one holding the remote control, you have the ultimate responsibility on what show gets played. oh - did i say the word control? yeah, well. it's like this: Consider the sparrow.
speaking of animals, (and 2 snoring furbabies at my feet reminded me), the 4 baby bear cubs are now joined by a bobcat with a not-so-appreciative streak, and 34 more assorted creatures in various & sundry states of distress. they appear in clumps, sometimes 25 at a time. with just Jean & Len to work their magic. it really is just the 2 of them, with an occasional volunteer. but mostly just them, trying to figure out how to set a broken wing hummingbird-style, or help a hawk with traumatic head injuries that is now physically healthy, but his internal gyroscope is whacked. and they do it. i'll just note here again quickly that their incredible work survives only only on donations. most grant resources have dried up or closed shop due to economic factors. so, if you've ever wanted to adopt a bear cub or bobcat, virtually speaking,
go here and do just that. "as you've done to the least of them, so it will be unto you."
well, the baby crows outside my window are reminding me to get a move on, and a pileated woodpecker is cackling away in the next tree, laughing at some inside joke.
i defy you not to smile when you hear their call.
we knew these days were coming...the mid-term exams, so to speak...the days when every second wasn't sprinkled liberally with twinkledust and no harps & violins greeted the day and Cinderella-like moments with birds and seamstress mice consorting and frolicking about and tiaras and just plain other-worldliness surrounded every fiber of every cell of every part of my being. (do cells have fibers?) (oh - i do still have the tiara). this has been a week of *New!* *improved!* web browsers that are so stinking bad, i had to figure out By Myself how to purge it from my life, while saving my settings & bookmarks, and return to the older, unimproved and waaaay better one. and i did. this was a week where my body said "whoa doggy!" in a way that meant business. and i listened to it. and rested. and returned to center. this was a week of old issues raising their ugly, nasty heads and coming to life once again. and the choice was mine on how to react. and i'm proud to say, i took the path less traveled by my usual shock-and-awe, knee-jerk reactive self. and i slept peacefully. this week, with all it's testing, did not break me. in fact, i'm pleased to say that the time of grace that swirled around me must have found a crevice and has lodged within my heart. for the most part. there is a Very Testing day ahead, but i think i can handle it with little damage. i think. i will try anyway. and i learned that feeling centered and balanced and all manner of glitterfied is not necessarily about eating vegetarian and wearing birkenstocks with black socks and not shaving my armpits. (although...) It's more about choices. choices that i make about how I will react to any given situation. and more than react, it's about how i will allow my heart & mind & body to perceive the situation and deal with it in that manner. it's about gaining control of my own perceptions. and i wish there was a Cesar Milan Perception Whisperer. and i think perception, in part, is based upon the end result...history upon history of result. since i always feel - felt - that it was up to me to make things right, to take command of a disaster and make it all sparkly again, then my reactions to a situation became based on the fact that i would be the one with the broom at the end of the parade. and since i had claimed that role for myself (whether by choice, or by habit), those around me let me live it. i have a lot of experience is disaster cleanup. and that speaks to my bad choices in those i allowed closest to me. i'm pleased to say that i've put down the broom. i will help clean up, but only to the boundary that feels right. and i have realized just how much i've taken on to corral into a circle called "mine." if you're the one holding the remote control, you have the ultimate responsibility on what show gets played. oh - did i say the word control? yeah, well. it's like this: Consider the sparrow.
speaking of animals, (and 2 snoring furbabies at my feet reminded me), the 4 baby bear cubs are now joined by a bobcat with a not-so-appreciative streak, and 34 more assorted creatures in various & sundry states of distress. they appear in clumps, sometimes 25 at a time. with just Jean & Len to work their magic. it really is just the 2 of them, with an occasional volunteer. but mostly just them, trying to figure out how to set a broken wing hummingbird-style, or help a hawk with traumatic head injuries that is now physically healthy, but his internal gyroscope is whacked. and they do it. i'll just note here again quickly that their incredible work survives only only on donations. most grant resources have dried up or closed shop due to economic factors. so, if you've ever wanted to adopt a bear cub or bobcat, virtually speaking, go here and do just that. "as you've done to the least of them, so it will be unto you."
well, the baby crows outside my window are reminding me to get a move on, and a pileated woodpecker is cackling away in the next tree, laughing at some inside joke. i defy you not to smile when you hear their call.
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