addiction #237

i've developed an addiction to netflix art documentaries. there i said it. sunday i watched 3 Art City documentaries in a row (2 were good, 1 i fell asleep in the middle of), plus Herb & Dorothy(loved), The Cats of Mirikitani (very very good), Marwencol (disturbing but interesting), Jean-Michel Basquiat: The Radiant Child (good), Exit Through the Gift Shop (ok), Art & Copy (loved), The Cool School (loved), and finally, Beautiful Losers (liked). plus i re-watched Departures, one of my all-time favorite movies (Japanese with subtitles). told ya. oh - plus a podcast interview of Elizabeth Maccrellish which was wonderful wonderful, and made me homesick for her. for the record, i worked from 5am-1pm then watched movies. and made homemade chicken soup for sick husband. time is ticking for the festivals to start, and i feel like i haven't made nearly enough to sell. Strepson was in this weekend (yes - he has strep), though i barely saw him. Husband is sick today, and diva's tummy is chiming in just to be part of the crowd. i want to live in a hotel till everyone is better. of course, i may have started this immune attack, but that doesn't count. when i first left my job, i felt like i was under a cloud of grace, where anything i put my hand to would be perfect and everything i wanted would appear. i felt like nothing could possibly fail. so i began sending entries for jurying to art shows, and just had a knowing in my heart that of course i would get in to each and every one, and soon i would be sipping cocktails with the hoidy toidy art set and fahbulously wealthy. luckily i don't sip cocktails, and wealth is not my goal. and as for hoidy toidy - seriously? do i have to rant about that? no. today i got a thanks-but letter from a show i really had wanted to be in. and funny thing, i didn't do a death spiral to a dark place, nor did i start throwing art supplies at walls yelling You Suck. (for the record, i have never thrown art supplies). i didn't feel like it took anything away from me. hunh. i was genuinely disappointed, but in an even-keel sort of way. clearly, with 1000 entries, A LOT of people got the same letter I did today. and i had to smile, because they sent along the 2 free passes to the show. i took that as a nice gesture, anyway. but i have to think there will be others who received them and are thinking "What's this supposed to mean?? So I can come see what REAL art looks like??" i intend to go and enjoy the show, and see what's being done out in the world away from my studio. each jury is different and each has their slant, no matter how they try to stay neutral. and honestly, some do not try to stay neutral. there is an annual show locally that's a pretty big deal, with entries from all over the U.S., and the jurors are anonymous. but not so much. because each year they jury themselves into the show. imagine. so that's why i don't get my leggings in a bundle. there's always something. it may be they are looking for a different style or whatever. so i guess my lesson can be yours too - don't give up and don't ever take it to heart. the jury process is based on opinion, for the most part. art is not a math equation that's either right or wrong. it's subjective. even when we look at our own art - something i did yesterday and thought i should alert the media about, may look like dung to me today. so there you have it. so even though you didn't ask, there's the long answer. as usual.