Sunday, June 13, 2010
it has been way too busy, and i'm finding my time stretched like pulled taffy as i try to carve out some creative time...in-the-zone time. i have 3 projects i'm trying to work on right now...each from a very sacred place...each calling me to the studio. but studying for the new Big Girl job position has taken precedence, as has a girlday with mom, and other agenda items that move up the priority scale. yesterday was girlday with mom. on our way home from an excellent breakfast in a cheesy little diner located at the next right turn after nowhere, i saw a display of sculptures outside an old rundown barn. RRRRRRRRR- the brakes got slammed on. an artist has a studio inside this old historic building. not really a barn, as it turns out, but definitely rundown. the sculptures were welded metal animals made from found objects and repurposed pieces of metal...an aardvark, a chicken, a moose, lobster and shrimp...all lusciously rusty under their brightly painted,but faded shapes. inside, he has a wood shop that is to be worshipped. and some of the most incredible Adirondack style mirrors, tables, boxes, etc. he was obviously and rightfully proud of his work, and we began to chat...he admired my necklace (part of my new collection) and asked if i was an artist. he asked if i made my living at it, and i realized just how possible it was. to have the time to finish what i start. i did it before. what had changed? the answers came easily, and with a twinge of sadness but not regret. i believe there is no wrong path. that we make choices and they go this way or that way. and you bring you essential self to either choice. whether one is easier or harder depends on your acceptance of your choice. i suppose tomorrow i could toss my Big Girl job and finish my Compelling Artwork. but i need that security of the mundane right now...that knowledge of a paycheck every 2 weeks. that is my situation based on my choices, and although it is frustrating at times (like these past few weeks!), i acknowledge that it is my choice. and i am grateful for choice. grateful that i have the security of someone else's name at the bottom of my paycheck. it fills me. i am equally grateful that i have the luxury of being able to make time for art. i don't have to work 2-3 jobs to put food on my table. so i'm not whining about lack of art time. just frustrated. almost seems selfish, when viewed from a global perspective, eh? but it is the path of my choices that i wander...be they conscious or subconscious choices. i am grateful for those who help me make it over the roots and rocks, and equally as grateful for those who skip along the wide shady portions with me. i will be posting irregularly for the next few weeks, as i try to spend some time with a particularly challenging assemblage piece staring incomplete from my worktable. enjoy summer's warm, sweet fragrance!
at 6:24 AM